My eyes have been very tired all day today. I'm hoping it's just the heat and tiredness that's doing it.

I wrote myself a Fuse MP3 filing system this evening. I remembered that I had a database of my music that's rebuilt nightly (in addition to the SqueezeCenter database which is a pain to use) so I pulled the database out and knocked up a couple of simple methods to access the DB. Because we'd been talking about 80s music earlier, I started with the 'by decade' filter, which was more difficult because I couldn't remember simple things, but once I got into the swing of things I had a directory of decades, and a few minutes later a directory of artists within those. Then I added albums and tracks which was pretty simple.

The way I'd written it, each enumerator can accept other filters so I can nest them in any way I want - so adding filters for the top level for years, genres, and bitrate is pretty simple. So it's been quite fun. Then I noticed that the database has entries in it for lyrics as well, so I added that to the FS as well.

It's all a bit weird, kinda. Perl+SQL+filesystem just seems wrong, but it is easy...

So... I'm moving on. I've quit Picsel today, which is good, and I'll be moving on to a company in Cambridge called Velocix. I'm hoping that it'll all go smoothly and I'll not be quite so terrified. It's exciting, but also rather fast. Change scares me - in case it's been unclear, 'cos you know how good I am at moving on (grr). Anyhow, after Caroline had said how she'd found it quite easy to find another job, I had a look around on the Sunday. Around Reading there's very little of interest, but more so around Cambridge. I applied for a few things, one of which seemed good for me. I had a phone interview on the Tuesday, a programming test that night - 2 hours writing something which was actually quite fun - and then they invited me for an interview the Tuesday after. I had a nice lunch with Caroline, went to the interview and seemed to come off well 'cos I heard from the agent that they wanted to offer me the position. So... that's what I'm going to be doing.

I'm scared - doubly so for obvious reasons. Actually more than doubly so, cos there's also the fact that I don't actually know anyone at the new company, and I've never gone to a company that I knew nobody. That might be a bad sign. I hope I can live up to their expectations. Anyhow, I've been clearing out boxes of stuff that's no longer needed. There's so much stuff that I've carried from place to place and have forgotten about. Much of which is now shredded into little pieces. Cards and letters that people sent, things from university - even course notes and exercises - and applications to university (!), random receipts, and cheques that had somehow become lost in the process of moving or something.

I'm sad about getting rid of a lot of stuff, because that's parts of my past, but maybe it's time they go. It's sad but... I'm trying. Consequently I've had bad dreams of things like moving. And Caroline. Because she'll always be the back of my head to remind me of the biggest mistakes. It's getting better by the day though.

I also wrote a Fuse filing system to (effectively) mirror a tree of files from elsewhere but with a filter applied - in this case only mirroring video and subtitle files and no other extension.

I slipped a few days ago in the bathroom - whilst going for my headache tablets for the 3rd time (which I forgot that time too) - and hit my arm on the door frame as I fell. It's now rather sore .

I got to move in with my new housemates last night - in my dream. I was moving in with two girls and a guy, although for some reason my 'room' was mostly filled with sleeping bags and storage boxes. It was a little bit unhappy.

I think this might have had a little to do with throwing out all my University application and accommodation things. I managed to clear out a whole load of other boxes as well. I found lots of embarassing things and presents that never got sent.

There was a cute story about a cat getting prosthetic feet. So very lovely.

I watched "Click (2006)Comedy, Drama, FantasyThe architect Michael Newman has a typical middle-class family with his lovely and gorgeous wife Donna and their son Ben and daughter Samantha, and a constant visit of his parents. However, Michael is workaholic and under stress, trying to satisfy his boss with overwork and get a partnership in his company, giving priority to his work and neglecting the family issues. When the tired Michael goes to a department store to buy an universal remote control, he rests on a bed and he meets the weird salesman Morty that offers him a remote control capable of controlling his own universe. Michael uses too much and loses the control of the device, having his own life controlled by the remote control. Then Michael sees the worthwhile parts of his personal life he missed while working, and in the end of his life he lately concludes that the family comes first.Click" earlier. I actually really enjoyed it.

Really crappy dreams tonight about stuff that's not real but clearly my psyche thinks stuff about it. I was woken from the worst bit by the post arriving, but it's not gone away.

I'm having a clearout of some stuff and I've got some things that would be great to get rid of - 2 A5000s, 3 RPCs, 3 CRTs (one's my nice Iyama 410, the other 2 are lower spec) and some keyboards and mice to go with 'em. Don't suppose there's anyone out there that wants to take them off my hands ? Just come and pick 'em up in you're in Reading... I could post but it'll cost. I guess I should probably post to CSA.something.

I've got loads of junk. Boxes of things that have moved around with me, some of which just haven't been looked in for ages - if at all. There's one box here that, I think, was packed up when I left Stratford and moved to Cambridge, then Glasgow, back to Weeting and finally here to Reading. But I emptied half of one today. Got rid of a load of letters and stuff that I don't need any more. Things from School, and College and University time that I should have got rid of long ago. So now I feel a bit crappy but at least they're dealt with. Amusing things I did find though...

There were a couple of business cards for Majid and Imran, for Picsel - for the old office address, and with them a receipt for Beetlenut, a nice restaurant that we used to go to up there. A business card for Richard Jozefowski. Loads of train tickets and concert tickets. And best of all - two uncashed cheques. Which is very strange. I spoke to one of the people about them and they said they might be able to sort something out, which is nice. I should try to speak to the other. As they're dated 2000 and 2002, the money's pretty much written off so if I get anything that's a bonus really.

There were also a bunch of books and other little trinkets in the box. I keep so much stuff; is it any wonder with a personality like this that I have problems letting things go ?

In the process this evening I've hurt a knuckle - scraped it on something and I don't know what.

Had very slow Internet this afternoon. The ping-graph showed that from 3pm until 5pm the first-hop ping time increased from its more usual 35ms to about 150ms, and sat around there for the entire 2 hours. England's last World Cup match being watched in offices across the country, I guess . Pretty impressive increase though.

I woke up this morning with Good as gold (Stupid as mud), by Beautiful South stuck in my head, which I always call 'Carry on regardless', after a repeated line in it. Before that I was dreaming about having to go away from friends - I was staying with someone (Claire and Justin I think) and I didn't want to go and kept putting off going, but eventually it was getting late and in order to go I had to get a lift to somewhere (Newcastle, I think!). A little odd.

Why am I so nervous, please explain to me why I can't sleep? ... Seems to me I've been a long time on this road; Has there been a sign, another way, And I've passed it by. I don't know what it is that drives me on. Gotta keep movin' Gotta keep movin' on [ Nervous, from Long Distance Voyager, by The Moody Blues ]

Went out for lunch this afternoon with Caroline, which was quite nice - and gosh was it a warm day, too. We had a nice meal out near where she works.

Very tired this morning. Strange dreams bordering on the current Doctor Who storyline mixed with Lord Of The Rings - a bit odd, with lots of sailing away from people who were chasing me and my companion and if they caught us the universe would explode, and running across moors and stuff. And there was something about having to remember someone who wasn't there.

I tried installing the Doctor Who adventure game. After a 330M download I tried running the installer, only to be told that "This version of the adventure game can only be installed in the UK." Which is odd because I thought Reading (and Demon Internet, aka Thus) were in the UK. So, I fire up Wireshark to see if I can fake the response that the installer is using so that I pretend to be in the UK. The shockingly simple result:

GET http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/tag/api/geo/isukrequest HTTP/1.1
Host: www.bbc.co.uk:80
 
HTTP/1.0 200 OK
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 2010 18:44:02 GMT
Server: Apache
Set-Cookie: BBC-UID=c45cd17dd06f3ff4cdef342b5187c43a9d7e35254040c1e4441f2436137a891a0; expires=Wed, 18-Jun-14 18:44:04 GMT; path=/; domain=bbc.co.uk;
Cache-Control: private
Content-Length: 1
Content-Type: text/plain
X-Cache: MISS from buttercup.gerph.org
X-Cache-Lookup: MISS from buttercup.gerph.org:3128
Via: 1.1 buttercup.gerph.org:3128 (squid/2.7.STABLE3)
Connection: close
 
1

So, not only is it going through my proxy (and thus an easier thing to spoof) it's also responding with what appears to be a positive result. I'd assume that the answer to the question 'isukrequest' of '1' means 'yes, they're in the UK'. Which is a bit odd.

Creating an entry in /etc/hosts, restarting squid, inserting the right file in 'doctorwho/tag/api/geo/isukrequest' - a single byte '0' to invert the sense of the request, and... the same error message. So, change that so that it says '1' again, and yet again I get the same message. There are no other network messages being sent, according to wireshark, and I don't know anything on my machine that would say it's not in the UK.

So, I think 'hmm, maybe it doesn't like the proxy', so I disable the proxy in Control Panel->Internet Options->Connections->LAN settings... so that it'll talk directly to the server it wants to. Result? :

GET /doctorwho/tag/api/geo/isukrequest HTTP/1.1
Host: www.bbc.co.uk:80
 
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 2010 19:10:03 GMT
Server: Apache
Set-Cookie: BBC-UID=240c217d5116507b48c6f4a90186720b2121ebcd10900291029800c4331cf0580; expires=Wed, 18-Jun-14 19:10:03 GMT; path=/; domain=bbc.co.uk;
Cache-Control: private
Content-Length: 1
Content-Type: text/plain
 
1

So something about having the squid proxy in the middle means that they're not able to interpret the positive response properly. Goodness help anyone who happens to have a 'transparent proxy' between them and the BBC. Similarly, how about those people who don't actually have an Internet connection ? They've been given a nice copy of the software by a friend on a CD and then... they're stuffed. Maybe they set things up so that any proxy means that they reject the result. But saying that you might have to disable proxying would help.

The game starts up in 800x600 with medium quality graphics. I've got a dual core 2.13GHz machine with a Radeon X1300 Pro graphics card. It's not wonderful, but it does a pretty decent job - plays HalfLife 2 at 1600x1200 with pretty nice graphics (runs HL2 Ep2 at a lower resolution, it's really slow at full). So I think, it should be able to play these Doctor Who things. Or at least show the menu. No. 1600x1200 with high quality graphics = about 6 frames per second.

But there's more - to change any graphics settings you have to restart the game, quit and reload. That's annoying. Seems, though, that 1600x1200 at medium works. Hey-ho.

Hmm. Amy's hair looks a little... um... stuck on. But ok.

The interface is a bit clunky compared to what I'm used to with HL - and I know HL is a bit older, but it seems slower and less nice for that. Allegedly it's designed to be playable on almost any PC hardware - entry level PC from 4 years ago is the target. Maybe my machine's clunky but I reckon is should be overpowered for anything that targets entry-level 4 years ago. Or maybe my 'entry level' is lower than theirs .

Oh, I just found the most amusing quote of the day...

I think you'll find that Spooks: Code 9 is officially the worst piece of British television ever made. It basically was a pro-fascist version of Hollyoaks. [ Spooks: Code 9; Comments on Doctor Who: The Adventure Games ]

Somehow it's after 1am now. I think that's partly 'cos I spent about 5 hours this afternoon re-organising the server schedules for greater availability. It's not much really, but I've been working on it in the background for the past couple of weeks and more so this week. I thought it probably best to get the change made this weekend rather than next when I suspect I won't be feeling like doing as much. Anyhow, the change seemed ok and I checked in on it a few times this evening, just to see that it was doing the right thing (albeit it's a weekend so strictly it shouldn't be running the 'developers are around, have stuff available that they need' thing - I'll sort out weekend complexities later). If I've done it all right then we should see less of a bottleneck during the day than previously, I hope.

When you're writing code you make decisions based on what you think is sensible, or what you think you need. Today I was writing some code to accumulate stuff into a buffer and extract tokens from it. Easy enough. Part way through I thought "wouldn't it have been easier to use flex?". And then when I'd finished I looked at the code and thought "surely I could have just read things a byte at a time and not worried about all the buffer management ?". Both of which are probably true, but I made a design decision early on that I wanted to ensure that when processing large amounts of data I could do so more quickly than byte-by-byte access, and I didn't want to start worrying about writing lex syntax for my parser and working it into my code.

Quite tired this evening - didn't sleep well last night, again. Hopefully I'll do better tonight!

I was chatting to Alex recently about ARM things and it's surprising how things come back. It's a little sad that it's been well over 3 years since I did any ARM work in anger (well, assembler - I've done other things since then). The last RISC OS thing I did was the re-implementation of the URL Fetcher modules which I did the week before I started at Picsel, but that was nearly all C with only a couple of little ARM bits in it. I miss it a bit.

That said, I'm far more comfortable with Perl these days - well for some things. It does depend on the sort of thing that I'm doing, and obviously since most of the stuff at work is either Perl or Python based, that tends to be what I use.

I managed to get my simple weather fetcher working - it's not that exciting but the idea was that it keeps alls the weather observations (as read from the Met Office site) in a database and can produce graphs of the country. I've used ChartDirector - mainly because it's got a rather nice 2D interpollating graph which gives a contour based map, ideal for temperatures (we tried this at work for mapping the server room with reasonable success), and because it's really easy to use. I've captured the output - for posterity - of the map of the country when Caroline and I went to Windsor on Friday. It was a pretty sort of day, map-wise. I'm pretty sure, based on the fact that it's always significantly different to its surroundings, that Glen Ogle's readings are garbage - at some point I'll add in a 'ignore this station' option for it. I also wanted to add in different projections, rather than just using a basic long/lat linear projection - I did some fun things whilst I was playing with maps a few years ago (Defcon prompted me to try out different projections and things) - but it looks pretty good as it stands.

Thinking about the perl things that I've been doing it looks like I'm a couple of versions behind on IMDB::Film but that's partly because my local version has got the extra changes for the video links, which I use to populate the .nfo trailer information for the films I've got.

Oddly, though, I don't use that feature much. Maybe I should change XBMC so that it uses a more advanced skin - I'm currently using Basics-Vision, which is nice and simple and has nothing too confusing in it, but doesn't really exploit the niceness that XBMC can do.

I've got my Windows build of XBMC working again, too, so I may be able to fix up the 'auto-play next film' patch which has gone stale recently. Another thing to do 'when I get around to it'. Preferably before they say 'gone stale, invalid'.

Tired now; I was going to watch a little bit of Psych (2009, BBC Two)ComedyThe series revolves around five different characters from different parts of Britain: David Sowerbutts, a serial killer obsessed man-child who still lives with his mother Maureen; Mr. Jelly, an embittered one-handed children's entertainer; Oscar Lomax, a blind millionare who collects Beanies; Joy Aston, a midwife who treats a practice doll as if it is her real child; and Robert Greenspan, a telekinetic panto dwarf in love with his Snow White. All five are connected by a mysterious blackmailer who has sent them a letter each, all of which contains the same message: "I know what you did..."Psych, but I sort of got carried away and rambly here. Today seems to have gone so quickly, hopefully tomorrow will be ... actually I'm not sure if quick or slow is better. Hopefully tomorrow will be ... nice .

I downloaded slightly more than usual in the last week, partly due to a large bunch of downloads on Steam - it's decided to download 500M of updates to the HalfLife 2 games. So, for the past 3 days I've got 'fair usage warning' emails from Demon, telling me that I'm getting close to their 50G limit. I've not had emails off them for ages about that, and my own accounting tends to be around 8G higher than theres in general, so I'm not sure what they're counting. I expect they're trying to clamp down on people over using their 'net access during the world cup, which will probably annoy people as there's a lot of content expected to be available online. And, I noticed on LoveFilm that they're offering lots of free films to watch online over the worldcup period as well.

Tonight Doctor Who (2005, BBC One)Action and Adventure/Science-FictionThe Doctor looks and seems human. He's handsome, witty, and could be mistaken for just another man in the street. But the Doctor is a Time Lord: a 900 year old alien with 2 hearts, part of a gifted civilization who mastered time travel. The Doctor saves planets for a living - more of a hobby actually, and he's very, very good at it. He's saved us from alien menaces and evil from before time began - but just who is he?Doctor Who episode "Doctor Who5x11
"The Lodger"Location: Aickman Road Date: 2010 Enemies: Number 79B, Aickman Road There's a house on Aickman road with a staircase that people go up, but never down... To solve the mystery of the man upstairs, the Doctor must pass himself off as a normal human being, and share a flat with Craig Owens.The Lodger" wasn't too bad although the explanation was rushed and unclear at the end. Or maybe I wasn't paying enough attention. I think there's only 2 episodes to go now.

So, how's things going on trying to sort myself out ? Well, I've decided to give up arguing with HR because... well, that thing with heads and brick walls seems appropriate, particularly as I end up with a headache and being annoyed . So that'll make things less frustrating for me, hopefully. And I started out on trying to do some things to reduce my frustrations further - with the expectation that it'll be more frustrating at first but better in the long run. That's assuming it goes anywhere.

I had a nice chat with Dave Ward today, as I've not spoken to him in ages. He seems well and stuff.

Chris is doing fun work things this week, so won't be around to chat to in the evenings. That'll actually be quite hard, but... hey-ho... I like having someone around to chat to - I tried to get away from being at home on my own all the time when I came here, and look where I've ended up .

I watched The Librarian II this evening, too, which was quite fun. Rather amused on the beginning to see the it's staring 'Gabrielle Anwar'. She's still 'Sam' (the graphics girl) from Press Gang (1989, ITV1)Children/Comedy/DramaPress Gang was a teen programme that followed the trials and tribulations of a group of teens setting up and running a young people's newspaper "The Junior Gazette". Ego's clash, professional and personal feelings collide and lots of one-liners and "crazy" situations made this every teenage-plus person's top of the list viewing. Shown as a prime time children's programme it was actually ahead of it's time socially. With mature and occasionally controversial storylines it shaped a lot of it's viewers minds those few precious years.Press Gang.

I feel pretty icky today. I didn't sleep well last night on the Sofa. I remember having a bad dream but I don't remember it now. Stll very tired.

I'm trying to make some steps to try to help myself. It's not easy to fight myself to do that, but I managed it. I even had some things from a Sushi place and didn't dislike it - actually quite enjoyed it. I wish I could say that at least baby steps are some steps, but I've done that before and the effect is less than I want.

Also, went to Windsor this afternoon with Caroline, which was quite nice.

I'm going to try to sleep now.

Tired today. Tired of being miserable and tired of being tired, and I'm not doing a whole lot to help myself.

Another bad day today; I cut myself and it hurts a little.

It's late and I want to sleep, but I think I'm not quite in the mood just yet. I think I had a dream of passing Lucy and Simon and them waving to me last night. I'm pretty certain it's a dream because I don't think it happened in reality.

Why am I here ? I guess it's a question that everyone asks now and then, but I keep asking it. I don't really like the company, the main reasons I joined just aren't there any more and the company doesn't really want me. Up till now I've been trying to convince myself that I can put up with it because... well they pay. But it's in direct opposition to my recent decision to minimise the things that make me upset, so there has to be a tipping point where you say 'pfft... what's the point ?'. Of course it does also mean that I need to do something about it rather than just being frustrated. Or frustrated that I'm doing nothing about it.

Met up with Caroline again for Dinner tonight.

Got my exciting new shredder today! It's really exciting. I got to play with it for a little while until I overheated it and had to give it a rest for a bit. All the little bits come out in little strips; it's so fun. I was kinda expecting it to say 'yum' when it was finished .

I thought some time back that having my eyes zapped was a good idea, and at the same time, was quite clear that making any sort of decisions whilst unhappy was a bad idea. I'm

It's been a lot cooler today, which is good because it's been so hot all week - fortunately we had some heavy rain this evening which has also helped.

Caroline's in town this week so I got to see her this evening for food and for a little catch up, which was quite nice. She seemed less impressed with the weather stuff I've been doing, but asked the fair question 'why?'. Well, it's something to do, and something that I've not done before.

Not much else happening today; it's a bit dull really, although I did discover that Richard Coyle is in "Prince Of Persia (2010)Action, Adventure, Fantasy, RomanceSet in the mystical lands of Persia, a rogue prince and a mysterious princess race against dark forces to safeguard an ancient dagger capable of releasing the Sands of Time -- a gift from the gods that can reverse time and allow its possessor to rule the world.Prince Of Persia" (the film) and also that they've made a mini-series of Going Postal (2010, Sky1)Mini-Series/Science-FictionGoing Postal is the story of arch-swindler Moist Von Lipwig (Richard Coyle) and the beautiful, vengeful Adora Belle Dearheart (Claire Foy). A life long traveling con-artist, Lipwig's crimes finally catch up with him in Ankh-Morpork, the largest city on the Disc. Faced with death by hanging, Lipwig is spared by the city's ruler Lord Vetinari (Charles Dance), who sees him as the perfect man for the role of Postmaster in the decrepit Ankh-Morpork post office.Going Postal (the Terry Pratchett book), in which he plays Moist von Lipwig. It's a pity that the non-animated Pratchett outings haven't really lived up to the books in my opinion (albeit that Hogfather (2006, Mob Film Company, The)Drama/Fantasy/ThrillerHogfather was bad in both versions), cos it means that I'm quite worried that this one will be poor as well. I guess I'll get to see it at some point. Just like I'll get to see "Coraline (2009)Animation, Adventure, Family, FantasyWhen Coraline moves to an old house, she feels bored and neglected by her parents. She finds a hidden door with a bricked up passage. During the night, she crosses the passage and finds a parallel world where everybody has buttons instead of eyes, with caring parents and all her dreams coming true. When the Other Mother invites Coriline to stay in her world forever, the girl refuses and finds that the alternate reality where she is trapped is only a trick to lure her.Coraline" .

Had a trip out to Julian and Amy's 'new' place today, for his barbeque. Weather was good and I only took a few wrong turns on the way. But I had a nice time there - although I did forget about the icecreams I brought along until after I got home. Hey-ho. It was nice to see some of his friends again, although I felt quite old. I was a little amused as people talked about Ubuntu, Fedora, Latex, GnuPlot and other things, and also surprised - yet again - by how bizarre the world of PhD students can be.

I managed to read Coraline on the train there and back, which felt very much like a darker Roald Dahl. A little younger than I usually read, and very different for it. A lot more compact a story, which showed up my skim-reading quite quickly and I had to concentrate a little more on it. Which just shows how lazy I've become, I suppose - what else do I miss normally ?

I'll get around to watching the film at some point, and I can see it being quite fun because of how it's written. Some time this week, I guess.

Doctor Who (2005, BBC One)Action and Adventure/Science-FictionThe Doctor looks and seems human. He's handsome, witty, and could be mistaken for just another man in the street. But the Doctor is a Time Lord: a 900 year old alien with 2 hearts, part of a gifted civilization who mastered time travel. The Doctor saves planets for a living - more of a hobby actually, and he's very, very good at it. He's saved us from alien menaces and evil from before time began - but just who is he?Doctor Who this week was Vincent van Gogh, and was - I think - the best episode of the series by far. Well above the standard of the usual episodes, and actually felt like they put a bit of effort in to make you feel for the characters, in a way that nothing else has this season. I got the feeling that the writer really cared for van Gogh - the historical van Gogh, that is - and wanted to get some of that passion across on screen, and if that's the case then it really worked; if it's not then they painted a lovely picture (if you'll forgive the unintentional pun).

Today's been very toasty, getting up to around 27°. I've been trying to finish off some tidying up and the like, with limited success. I'm glad it's Friday, but I'm really tired now, and I've got Julian's barbeque to go to tomorrow which will also be tiring.

Another month passses, and I'm still not sure what I'm doing. I don't really want to be here, and I just don't have the energy to really care that much any other way. The past year and a half has just been so crappy and I just can't seem to see the point. Without any hope it's just a lot harder to see any kind of good side to things.

Hey ho. But we keep going because the alternative is marginally less appealing.