26 Sep 2009 (Saturday) 

I've been pretty anxious (I think that's the word - worried about something with nothing really to say what it is) recently. It seems to be getting worse over time, and I get a big panicy once in a while. I'm pretty sure it's mostly cos I'm bothered over work and the fact that there's never anyone else around to talk to really. Really tired at the moment as well, which is partly due to not having slept well (not entirely new, but back to being quite bad again) and not getting out to do anything. Not getting out to do anything is mostly because there's nothing that I really want to do, or feel that I can/should do.

On the up side, I've had some neat ideas for stuff at work, which is actually related to what I'm meant to be doing, so that seems pretty neat really.

It was my birthday last week and I went out for something to eat with Julian - Simon finally turned up, too, so that wasn't to bad. On the Friday afterward, I took up Matt's offer of popping in to Google for lunch and at his repeated insistence (yeah, yeah, I know I'm bad) I gave him a copy of my CV to submit to them. Monday, someone from Google contacted me to ask when it'd be possible to talk. So... I've let them know and we'll see how things go I guess.

It's not like I'm going to be leaving this job instantly, but whilst it's all very interesting they've essentially got us over a barrel at the moment - we can't leave if we want to see any money at all if the company's bought up. On the other hand, however, there's the issue that the administrators are paying us and, touch wood, are paying us on time, which is a huge plus really. To be honest, it's the barest minimum you'd expect from a company you're working for really, but over the last year I think my expectations have been lowered considerably. The phrase 'we'll tell you something when there's something to tell' becomes tedious after months and makes you wonder what on earth is going on if there's no progress worth talking of being made. Obviously that becomes more worrying at the moment because the administrators can effectively give up running the company as a going concern at any point.

Had a strange dream about seeing some friends - not people I know, or anyone that I know from telly or whatever, these were entirely new people - and their families and feeling incredibly like a fish out of water because their outlook and situation was quite alien to what I knew. There's a plus in this in that at even in my dreams I'm not blinkered to there being people who are quite different. There's a minus in that I felt far more awkward than I usually do.

A few mornings ago I woke up very early and had lost Sam. Foolishly, I decided that I was ok with that, and didn't sleep at all well after that and woke up feeling pretty awful. Needless to say, I tried to keep myself away from people most of the day - which is easier when you work from home and there's less chance of snapping at people. Not that I'm as bad as I've been in the past, but I know what I'm like and at least I know to deal with it.

Graeme's on holiday for 3 weeks whilst he inconsiderately goes and gets married. So, I'll be on my own pretty much for tools issues. Doesn't bother me too much as I know most of the systems very well - hopefully the ones that Graeme knows well won't fall apart .

Watched 'Falling Down' yesterday, which was pretty good actually. Reminds me that I should watch 'The Game' again. Watched the first episode of 'FlashForward' today, which was interesting. I think because I'd seen the trailer a couple of times on Five, the story was only really filled out a little in comparison to that. See how that goes I guess. I felt most anxious and awkward whilst watching that. Given that I'm, in general, impressionable (in the sense of being affected by what I seen, etc) that's understandable, but it's worse than normal. That said, I tried watching AI a week or so back and still can't

Also watched the first episode of the new season of 'House' this week - a double episode with house in an institution. Not too bad and definitely showed more promise.

'Being Erica' started again, and I tried watching a bit last night, but it was late and I didn't feel I wanted to go through an episode of it - it's a lot more involving than other, lighter, shows, in my opinion. It's not the 'everything works out' type of thing of (say) Quantum Leap, or Early Edition, or whatever I might compare it to. Bad stuff happens because of choices and sometimes they stick.

Which reminds me of one of the things from House which I object to in general because I'm not at all like that. The doctor tells House that you make mistakes and you don't need to go on feeling bad about them; you can say you're sorry and move on. That's never worked for me; mistakes stay with you and no amount of 'sorry' makes up for the things that you did that are wrong. Plus there's the fact that just saying sorry doesn't mean you should leave the mistake behind because that's just callous. That's probably just me though; I feel bad forever.

Huh. Last.fm hasn't been recording anything I've played since May. That's annoying. Looks like it's not enabled. Now sorted.

I've also been tinkering with the video collection. Having finally decided that the stuff recorded from telly at 1:1 from the DVB source is wrong, and the calculations that I used in the meantime were also wrong, I've now got a whole of recorded stuff that I deem to be 'bust'. It'll just take a bit to replace it all with un-bust things. Plus there's a lot recorded that's probably not going to get watched so should be deleted anyhow.

Additionally, I've updated the synmlink generator so that it also updates the TV series episode details from TheTVDB. In theory (and it's not quite finished yet) that will mean that all the details are held locally and nothing needs to be fetched by XBMC. However, I've not actually got around to sorting out the .nfo files on the server; only my own metadata format. At the very least, I've now got images from the episodes beside them, which is quite cute.

Warehouse 13 finished this week as well, and has been entirely enjoyable; and good news that it's coming back (at least I understand so). Eureka finished last week - the last episode wasn't all that great though. It was ok, but nothing really to say 'end of season'.

It's very strange in the evenings not being able to go to bed and use the laptop. Which is also why the diary's not been updated in ages. Ah well.

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15 Sep 2009 (Tuesday) 

Pretty fed up again today. It would be nice to have something to look forward to.

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14 Sep 2009 (Monday) 

I was listening to Vigil In A Wilderness of Mirrors, by Fish earlier and was amused because A Gentleman's Excuse Me always reminds me of Angela... and an hour or so later I get a SMS from her... Very strange!

... and I played the album again because I like it. A text message that was delayed from earlier arrived from her just as 'A Gentleman's Excuse Me' is playing again.

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13 Sep 2009 (Sunday) 

I've been playing Braid today. "Ah! The Ghost-me has left the door open to now-me!" - phrases that make no sense in the real world. However, it has left me feeling pretty frustrated because I'm not clever enough to do it.

I watched 'The Man In The White Suit' last night, which was pretty fun for an evening.

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12 Sep 2009 (Saturday) 

Ian: http://www.nasa.gov/images/content/385241main_omega_centauri_full_full_full.jpg Ian: "My god, it's full of stars" Jogu: indeed gerph: it's like a bad disco gerph: maybe that's all it is... one day God finished college and wanted to let his hair down, so he built a disco for his mates and they had a party. Then when everyone had gone and the beer mugs had gone stale and the music was silent... the whole disco was deserted... and thus was the universe born. gerph: puts a new perspective on the 'Big Bang', doesn't it ? [ It's full of stars; Ian, Justin ]

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11 Sep 2009 (Friday) 

I've had a nasty coughy-cold recently and felt awful. Fortunately it's mostly gone now.

Recent films... 'Next' - not too bad, quite enjoyable in a fun way; interesting twist at the end.

'The Tuxedo' - alright Jackie Chan film, far too much silly, and not enough action. Not that I don't like the silly, but the action wasn't as good as I remember from him and the silly felt forced.

'The Time Machine' (2002) - not as bad as I expected but I still felt there was something wrong - maybe because the Morlocks just didn't seem scary or that the leader wasn't at all menacing or evil.

'Inkheart' - not too bad, but seemed to be missing something; quite enjoyable as a nice little adventure though.

'Paycheck' - not bad in a 'Minority Report' style of thing.

'Pirates Of The Caribbean 3' - Oh my gosh, someone give me my life back! Why did I put myself through nearly 3 hours of that ? Makes 2 look good, rather than just passable.

Following on from this, I'd like to claim back the hours of my life lost to 'Star Wars 1-3', 'The Matrix 2 & 3', 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 & 3'. And I've just remembered that I'd like to include 'Highlander 2 & 4' and 'Superman IV', in that as well - I had so blocked out how bad they were that they weren't even in my recollection as existing.

I've heard rumours that the other creditors have received the administrators report on how much money Picsel owe... Its official designation is, I understand, 'oh-my-gosh-you-could-buy-an-island-for- that'. Although, having just looked at the price of islands, you could buy quite a few islands for what we owe.

8 acre island in the Bahamas - only $6.5M.

25 acre island in Fiji - only $6M (7M AUD), and it's called 'Robinson Crusoe Island', too .

40 acres in the Maldives - only $18M, and you've got a 5 star resort part-built already!

(all $ figures are USD unless otherwise specified)

In fact, I believe we could still buy all of those and still have enough left over for an extravagant party. A very extravagant party. I tried to find things to buy that would cover the remaining cost, and even travelling to space, or popping down to visit the Titanic pales in comparison.

Of course, I could be wrong, as I've not actually seen these figures - I've only heard rumours. And after all, who cares what the value is... I got to look at some pretty islands which are remarkably cheap...

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9 Sep 2009 (Wednesday) 

"We ANTICIPATED an opening rush when we launched the Monopoly City Streets online game, but the first few hours have surpassed even our greatest EXPECTATIONS." says the blog for 'Monopoly City Streets'. Which makes it sound like it was more successful than they had hoped. As opposed to the reality which was that they were utterly unprepared for the launch and it was a complete disaster.

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6 Sep 2009 (Sunday) 

I watched the first story of 'Sapphire and Steel' yesterday, it was a bit odd and quite longwinded - maybe it's just me but I think it could have done with being condensed a bit. I watched 'Before You Say "I do"' today which was really quite cool.

Tonight I'm watching Next, although I've had a big break in the middle cos I was chatting to Caroline, albeit brokenly. Reasonably fun.

Got a bit of a cold and my sore tummy kept me up again last night so I still haven't had a decent sleep. Feel very tired today.

I'm hopeful that we'll get something sorted with the company soon. It's becoming a little frustrating to now know where things are going.

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3 Sep 2009 (Thursday) 

I was dreaming of an airport this morning and I remember that I had lost all my luggage - it had been stolen and I couldn't get it back. It was all quite scary. And then there was a second half of the dream where I'd got cancer and only had a few months to live. That wasn't much fun either.

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