6 Apr 2008 (Sunday) 

For the last week, I've had Disco 2000, by Pulp going around my head. It's a little annoying.

I'm back from my weekend away now. Went to see Caroline and Jess. Unfortunately the buses seemed all confused, Jess decided to stay with daddy, and Caroline was ill all night. Despite these things, I had a good time.

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11 Apr 2008 (Friday) 

Travelling up to see Claire and Justin for Alex's Christening, today. Quite uneventful except that we had a lorry crash through a barrier ahead of us and our train was a little delayed. Fortunately I was on a train with free wifi, so I spent much of the journey chatting to people on the talker, and to Caroline.

Anyhow, here with Claire and Justin and family tonight. I'm a little tired but I've no idea if I'm going to be able to sleep.

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13 Apr 2008 (Sunday) 

It was Alex's Christening today, so I'm now officially his godfather. It's actually quite a responsibility which I should take seriously. I don't know if I will, but I should mean more him than just being a friend of mummy and daddy's. I'm not particularly religious. I'm pretty clear about that. If I'm anything, I'm agnostic, but I try to make pains to understand other people's views - it might not seem that way at times but I do try. I'd like to think that whatever happens I can be there for him, whether it's for religiousy things, or more practical matters. I might not be very good, but that's what I think. I know Claire and Justin are there for him in all things, but I'd like to think that I'll be a friend to him.

I don't know who my godparents are, to be honest. I think one of mum's friends is a godmother - Geraldine rings a bell, but I couldn't say any more and might be very wrong. I have to say that I've never really thought to talk to my godparents about anything. Maybe it doesn't really matter in this day, but it's an extended family role, and I think that's a good thing.

I also had a lovely chat this evening with Caroline. Really made a lovely end to the day.

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15 Apr 2008 (Tuesday) 

I've been walking through the park I've been walking in the dark I've been walking in the rain I've been walking with so much pain I've been walking in the sun And it's bought me so much fun Lyin' on a beach Darkness out of reach The world is not so cold But still it makes me fold So hold me and keep me sailing Hold me close to you Keep me from failing Disappearing from you [ Fold, from Lights, by Archive ]

Just to counter Simon's track of the day, a couple of days ago.

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16 Apr 2008 (Wednesday) 

Ian: what the fuck... my "u" key just kind of snapped! Ian: that was weird gerph: snapped ? Ian: fell off gerph: that's what I thought you meant... that's ... yes, wtf... gerph: obviously you use 'u' far too much. Ian: fck off Ian: [ Snapped off; Ian and me ]

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18 Apr 2008 (Friday) 

So, I'm going to write a quick catch up. There's just been so much happening right now and I've not had time to catch my breath. Of course, it's not really that much, but I don't have a whole lot in my life so it seems a lot more. That said... I'm really happy. It's strange, because I remember being happy and this is it.

I don't really know what to say about things. Things have changed a lot recently with Caroline and I feel a whole lot better. I can actually talk to her. I'm still shy, and I still have no idea how to say some things, but I can try now. She has a marvellous way of putting me at ease when I'm nervous - which is a lot of the time. I hope she feels as comfortable around me. It's been awkward for so long that I wondered if it would always be that way.

Amusingly I've been looking back at a few of the things that I've done over the past few years - there's a scary amount of stuff actually. I'm still pretty frustrated and upset about that but... it's not important to me any more, really. Maybe that's the 'it'll all work out' attitude kicking in.

I'm also catching up on my television as well. I'm amused by having just watched the first Doctor Who of this series and saying "I'm sure that's Raquel from Corrie"... and then finding that I was right. Kinda sad really.

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30 Apr 2008 (Wednesday) 

That's the end of April and I've really not said much in the diary. I've just been too busy. Most weekends recently I've been spending with Caroline and Jess. I'm really happy and I haven't had a whole lot of time to take stock of things. Not that I'm complaining. I'm just glad that things are good at the moment.

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