I've been miserable for the past week or so, all for the usual reasons. I'm not sure whether it's because of that, or the other way around, but I've not slept well at all recently either. I was quite rude to Caroline last night, without consciously meaning to be, and so all day today I've felt like crap. As I should. I had an awful dream which again reminded me how crap I am, and so I know I've got to try to be better. Even if I do feel like crap, I should try to be a bit more upbeat. More of the happy smiley.

I'm not sure what I'm doing at the moment. It doesn't really seem like there's a whole lot of purpose these days.

I thought I was getting better at sleeping through the night. But I ended up waking up at about 3 again last night. I swear it's like I don't want to dream anything at all which might upset me. So I end up waking up and still being upset.

It's only a lifetime...

I don't like weekends. There's too much time. I get upset because of it. I was trying to work out what to do with holiday. I don't want to do anything particularly. And I know I'll just be bored if I do nothing.

I noticed, though, that Stark Raving Love, from Bad For Good, by Jim Steinman starts with the same intro (pretty much) as Holding Out For A Hero, from Super Hits, by Bonnie Tyler. Given that Steinman co-wrote the latter, that seems... either very lazy, or quite clever. Not sure which.

Trying to piece together conversations Trying to find out where to lay the blame But when it comes right down to it there's no use trying to pretend [ Sugar Mice, from Clutching At Straws, by Marillion ]

Yay! XKCD - Bunny cross-over .

Quick note about mum and dad in case I forget in years to come... The house is sold, packed, moved out and keys handed over, now. They stopped with Lizz and John for a little while and then on Monday, together with Julian, they picked up Greebo and drove down into France down into Spain and arrived at Grandma's around 2am last night. Greebo's ok; he's been sitting in the car most of the way, out of his cage, on either their laps or on the floor. He's been resting today. I'm still a little worried about him, but at least he's good.

There are days when you have to ask yourself 'what am I doing ?'. Those are the same days when you cut yourself and nafter you notice you just think... 'huh', and then half an hour later have to go clear up the mess on the desk 'cos you just couldn't be bothered. I hate those days.

I'm feeling pretty ill and tired today. I woke at about 3:40, and couldn't get back to sleep until about 6ish. Then I slept until about 8:30. All day I've felt worse and worse, and tonight I've not eaten a whole lot because it makes me sick.

On the up side, I listened to Chris Evans' Friday show, where my cousin, Lucy, requested a track. Whee. The wonders of the Internet. I've cut out the section and tried to pass on the link to her - via dad. I also rang her this evening - before I'd cut out the bit, obviously - so had a quick chat with her which is nice. I haven't had a chance to get over and seem them at all recently .

Apparently, Chris tells me, there's a whole lot of discussion about meeting up in Boston. I'm sort of tempted but... it sounds like a whole lot of impulse for not so much, despite how cool it'd be. Now, if Caroline was interested, that'd be a whole different kettle of fish, but as expected she wasn't so... well, that's the way it goes.

You appear to have a severe misunderstanding of what women want ;) [ Women; Jogu ]

This kinda ranks alongside Jogu's other comment about me... a few years ago... But anyhow; it's all to do with my asking of Caroline fancied going to Boston.

It's a whole new month. Ain't that irritating. On the plus side the automatic diary-updater-thingy appears to have done its magic and created everything it needs to. Woo.