Ok, so this may offend a few people because it seems that people are offended by this kind of thing. Apparently, a gallery pulled the exhibit of a chocoloate Jesus, naked in the crucifixion pose, because a Catholic group protested about it. More particularly it can't be because he's made out of chocolate, because that's just a medium like any other. Or because he's in the crucifixion pose, because that's visible in churches all over the place. So it must be the fact that he's naked.

Now, I find it a little strange. I have no particular gripe against Christians, only about things that seem foolish to complain about. Here we have a person who's been killed in the most horrific of ways - having had nails and thorns stuck in them and been left to hang for days, and finally having a sword stuck in their side (if I recall correctly) - but don't show the fact that he's actually got the same bits as other males.

There's always a time for decency and all that but, when you're depicting one of the most publicised and quite gruesome murders of all time, is that really the right place to complain about a little nudity ? I reckon this is just an indication that some people are far more offended by sex than by violence.

Maybe I'm wildly wrong. In fact I expect I've probably offended a few people anyhow, but I would prefer to be reasonably balanced, rather than irrationally offended. I'm sure that, if anyone did read this and find they were offended, they'd comment on it. But I don understand why it might be offensive because it's not the common depiction. The argument on the site of having other religious leaders naked seems more spurious as other leaders of faith tend not to be nailed to things in the near-nude anyhow.

I've been packing this evening, for going away. I've got a week's induction for work. So I've got to fly there, stop in a hotel and generally be scared by doing new things. I'm not used to it - I don't remember the last time I went somewhere on my own for more than a couple of days.

Because of this, it's possible that I won't have 'net access for a week. I'm back on Friday, anyhow, so it's not a huge length of time. It's possible that Ian's coming down on the 4th, so I'm hoping that we'll get to all meet up - Ian, Alex, and Joseph. That'd be very strange.

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first, Sometimes the first thing you want never comes, I know the waiting is all you can do, Sometimes. [ Strange And Beautiful, from Aqualung, by Aqualung ]

I'm still really really nervous about travelling tomorrow. I've got a list beside me of things I need to pack - little things so that I just don't forget them.

It's hot this evening and I really can't sleep. Nerves. I've got no fingernails left, as of about 2pm today. Gah. Everyone I've spoken to has focussed on the whole 'job' part of this week and how to be relaxed about that. That's not my worry; it's the rest of the stuff that goes around being elsewhere that's more worrying. I'll have Sam with me to look after me. Only he doesn't exactly help.

No doubt by the time I get to the hotel I'll just want to collapse and sleep.

I've had a bitty day today. Had a nice wander around town - in the rain. Found out where the coach leaves for the airport, so I know where I'm going on Sunday. So I'm less worried about that bit. I'm still worried about the flying and the hotel and stuff. But at least I've one worry out of the way.

I spoke briefly to Caroline this evening to wish her well travelling tomorrow, but she was actually just setting off - having decided to travel through the night. She's taking a different route down there, so she won't be passing me to stop in for a cup of tea and a little rest. Pity.

I've left the phones by my bed just in case she's changed her mind and decided to come this way. I don't believe that she will, but I know that I'd rather hope for the unlikely than accept the probable.

I had a long chat this evening, with Chris, about what exactly 'good' was, and some stuff like that. It's hard to be good, but it's important to be facing the right way.

I woke up from the strangest dream this morning where I was delivering babies - about 3 or 4 of them. Not the most normal of things for me to dream about. I don't think there is anything recently that would make me think about that sort of thing. Well, except the 'do you plan on having any more kids' question on the last survey, but that's quite tenuous.

All I ever wanted All I ever needed Is here In my arms Words are very Uneccessary They can only do harm... [ Enjoy The Silence, from Karmacode, by Lacuna Coil ]

I like that cover (it's originally by Depeche Mode.

Close your eyes and you'll be there Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old Where dreams are made, your love parade [ Dear Jessie, from Like A Prayer, by Madonna ]

I've spent most of this evening talking about work with people there, which has been incredibly relaxing - surprisingly. I start on Monday and I'm very nervous.

I've felt pretty horrid all day today, but this evening was a lot better. Simon's been out all day, so I've not even seen him to cheer me up. I'm kinda thinking that I might move some of the pictures from my desk. I'm not sure it's good to have mini-people staring up at me. For them, obviously. On a related note, my talking to myself has been almost entirely single-track today, which is never good.

It seems that my diary update code doesn't actually work all that well when it comes to a full disc. It loses entries and generally makes a mess of things. I've reconstructed the entries that were lost so everything should look like before, but I should now do something to prevent it happening again, I think. We now have 10 backups retained of the diary source, plus we also check whether there's 512K free on the disc before we even start to process things. That should prevent any future loss, I hope.

I woke up this morning continuing exactly the same thoughts I had when I went to sleep. Very strange and a little disturbing.

I've felt really awful this evening. There are a whole host of reasons why that might be.

I've spent today reading about Excel file format, mainly because Ian is trying to work with it and I like to know what people are talking about. It's a confusing thing as far as I can tell. But I can vaguely understand bits of it - I'm just glad I haven't tried to use it in anger, yet.

Ian's also mentioned about a new USB drive he's got which Vista claims to be suitable for 'ReadyBoost'. I believed this was effectively a swap-file cache, but it's a little more than that, apparently. There's a little article up at an MSDN blog site which gives a little more detail. However, it's somewhat amusing in its phrasing :

Q: Can you use an mp3 player to speed up your system? A: Not currently. MP3 players use the 'plays for sure' interfaces to expose themselves to Windows. We require that the device appear as a disk volume. These aren't currently compatible. [ All MP3 players use Plays For Sure; Tom Archer's blog ]

This amused me no end because it effectively denies the existance of any MP3 player which isn't 'Plays For Sure' compatible. I'm easily amused, but I find that quite funny.

When you threw out the hope with the dustbin liners You were standing alone with your coat of kindness Covered in mud - it was soaked in my blood When you fed me to the lions in your personal arena And you watched till the cries and the prayers grew weaker Head in my hands - dripping tears in the sand And the roar of the lions As the victim lies damned and alone....... [ Solomon, from Songs From The Lion's Cage, by Arena ]

Simon's obviously out this evening, working, so I've got the place to myself again. was wondering what to do with myself so I went to make tea and was planning to put some music on, but then I noticed that Life on Mars (2006, BBC One)Drama/Science-FictionA detective chief inspector from 2006 is investigating a serial killer when he is knocked over by a speeding car. Waking up, he finds himself mysteriously transported back in time to 1973. Initially struggling to come to terms with his situation, he has to come to terms with the old-fashioned technology and attitude of the day, while figuring out how he came to be trapped in the past. The actor John Simm described the show as "a cross between Back to the Future and The Sweeney", and it makes effective use of the disorientation of the unwitting time traveller while taking a post-modern romp through 1970s fashions and technologies, with due tribute paid to the classic police dramas of the day to fashion a truly unique programme.Life on Mars had started. So I missed the beginning whilst I was cooking tea. Oh well.

Oh! I had a lovely chat with Caroline tonight. She rang me because she was bothered that I was melancholic after talking to her yesterday. Which is really quite surprising. Ian - he was the only one left on the talker when I returned, everyone else having gone off to bed - was quite surprised that I spent so long on the phone. I still think it's amazing that she wants to talk to me at all .

But now I have to go to bed. Really, and then hopefully I can awake at a sensible hour. And, hopefully I won't feel too sad after I get into bed this evening.

Now of course, I can't sleep.

And now I feel bad for making things awkward. But I'm going to try to put that out of my head for now. Oh, I did get back some nice little 'friend survey' things from a few people - Dad, Caroline and Sue so far, which is nice. It's not only nice to see what other people like but also that they make think about yourself. Whilst I realise that I spent probably (mum would say 'certainly') a lot more time thinking about myself than is strictly normal (I mean in the introverted 'what do I really think about ...' way), I still don't get to ask some of those questions. Also you look back at your answers sometimes and think 'I've answered that wrongly', and you learn something about yourself. I think I only mis-answered two of the last set of questions, and that's not out of wanting to mislead people, but more because I answered the wrong question.

Anyhow, the little surveys are fun. I'm still not sure what it is that I hope to accomplish before I die, though. Not that I've accomplished everything that I wanted to do, but it's just that the things I did want to do I discarded long ago and I never really replaced them with anything. Even now, though I'm trying to start again and to do something with myself I still don't have any sort of aim or things that I would like to have done.

Sitting here and thinking about it though, maybe I do have some things I want to accomplish. It's not like I have any sort of urge to travel to china before I die or anything like that. Caroline's got the most interesting and telling reply to that. But I still don't have any real answer. It's kinda frustrating.

I'm not so sad now; more tired and resigned. So I think I'll go sleepy-byes.

Feeling rather melancholic tonight (though not so much so that I can't look the word up to see that it means what I think it means). I guess it just comes from talking to Caroline this evening.

I wonder if it will turn Not fall apart and burn When will I learn [ I Will Fade, from Lights, by Archive ]

So, I jump in to bed and turn on the laptop because I'm thinking 'hey, I must have something more useful to say about today' and the only useful thing I can say is 'what the hell's happened to my pinboard ?'. It's gone and spontaneously reorganised every single icon.

Wanting something doesn't make it real. It's a little reminiscent of a dream I had, except at the end we all just died.

Oh, and that was one other thing that happened today - I put a hook on the back of my door.

Simon's working this week, so I've been on my own this evening. Which may not have helped my mood, I suppose.

It did make me think about what's important, though. You know, sorts out your priorities a bit. If you get killed, can I have your iPod ? [ What's important; Primeval ]

I've been watching episodes from Primeval (2007, ITV1)Action and Adventure/Science-FictionPrimeval, a high-budget series, follows Professor Nick Cutter and his team as they investigate anomalies in time found in the Forest of Dean. An unfortunate side-effect of the anomalies is that dinosaurs are moving through them and into the present time, making the team's investigations that much more stressful. Cutter's wife also disappears while investigating the anomalies and he makes it his mission to find and save her.Primeval that I'd not seen. It's actually quite cool.

The base of my back's really tender tonight, like I've been bitten or something, but there's nothing there. It's really annoying. Annoying and sore.

Birds don't have teeth! What if they've created an attack Dodo ? [ Dodos; Primeval ]

I've had a pretty lonely day today. Simon's been out for most of it, and I've been a little bit lost. Still, there's always tomorrow.

There's a very cool alarm clock which I found via somewhere or other. It's water-powered, so no need to keep buying those pesky batteries. I realise that most alarm clocks don't go through batteries all that fast anyhow, but that doesn't mean it's not neat to be completely without batteries. Last christmas I got Simon a battery-less mouse, which uses induction (I guess) on the mat to draw its power. That seems so much more sensible and friendly than having to replace batteries regularly.

Oh and I got a lovely card from Claire and Justin, wishing me well at my new place. Unfortunately I left Sue's card at home .

I've had the fun today of setting up Dad's broadband on their router, over the phone. Actually it wasn't that bad once we got past some simple mistakes; just meant one or two bits needed to be twiddled with which took longer over the phone than it would in person! But they've got their email set up now and all being well they should be able to do stuff just like before. At the same time I took the opportunity to fix the SSH forwarding so that I can remotely fix things if I need to (presuming that the router itself isn't the problem.

Listen you, I can just about handle you, driving like a pissed-up-crack-head, and treating women like beanbags, but I'm going to say this once, and once only Gene... stay out of Camberwick Green. [ Camberwick Green; Sam Tyler; Life On Mars ]

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings Of the bluebird as she sings. The six o'clock alarm would never ring. [ Daydream Believer, from The Greatest Hits Of The Monkees, by The Monkees ]

I was watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch earlier - a random episode - that just happened to have Daydream Believer, by The Monkees in it, which was cute.

Missed the last train home Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone Well I'm pushing myself To finish this part I can handle a lot But one thing I'm missing Is in your eyes [ Eyes, by Rogue Wave ]

Eyes, by Rogue Wave is used on a couple of episodes of Heroes (2006, NBC)Action and Adventure/Drama/Science-Fiction/FantasyHeroes is a cult serial saga about people all over the world discovering that they have superpowers and trying to deal with how this change affects their lives. Not only are they discovering what having superpowers means to them but also the larger picture of where those powers come from and what they might mean to the rest of the world.Heroes, in montage sequences. It's really sweet.

My throat's sore tonight. I've had it do this before. The right side of it is sore and it hurts when I swallow. I can't remember, though, whether it was because I've scratched it with something I've eaten (it's bothered me that with all the things that go down your throat, chewed and not, you very rarely scratch it noticeably... maybe it's just too stretchy), or it means that I'm getting ill. As it seems to also hurt up toward my ear, I'm thinking it's an 'ill' thing. Probably just some cold.

Apparently the clocks change tonight, so I get an hour less in bed. Grr.

Well, the first thing that happened today was that my pack came by post to tell me what login name to use for ADSL. Stuck that into the connection scripts and stuff and all was well. Almost. I forgot to start PPP initially, so nothing happened. Once I remembered that it needed to be given a kick initially, all really was well .

Simon's finished his First Aid course this week, and he's out with his girlfriend this evening, so I'm all on my own again. I've spent the time catching up with people that I've not spoken to in a bit. It's nice because I can catch up with them without it costing me any (more) money. Plus it's easier to chat on the computer, for me anyhow.

My right eye's tired tonight. Actually it's been tired for the last few days. Of course, it might actually be tired.

Must sleep now. Feeling a little lost tonight.

A quick test this morning of the modem shows that ADSL is actually up and running on our phone line. I don't have the correct login details to connect to the ISP, but I can at least use the BT test to check that things are at least working as far as them. It's likely that even with the correct details we won't be able to use it until the activation date.

I'm just about happy with my room now. I'm sure there will be things that I've forgotten, but for now, it's fine. I've got loads of space in here really. Not quite enough for Twister, but it's close. I may need some more power leads, but I think everything's OK where it is at the moment.

I rang Sue today, 'cos I've not spoken to her since I moved. She's actually been in to the Sixth Form recently. Talking to her about things back there just reminds me of lots of other things. It's a tad frustrating that it's always there to haunt me, but there we go. On the up side, though, she's well and, family things aside, seems to be quite happy.

The living room's been tidied up quite a bit now. I've got almost everything out of there and into the eaves that isn't meant to be in view. It means that there's a lot of space there now, but it is quite nice to not have the server making noise in the living room. There's still a trailing cable which I'm really not happy with, but I think Simon and I can work something out on Saturday. Maybe.

I found a load of my old glasses a few days ago, whilst looking through boxes. They were huge. Like, really, stupidly, big. They've slowly got smaller over the years and they're really quite a sensible size now, and I feel incredibly good about them. A few people said that I used to have large glasses 'cos I could hide behind them. I think that's probably about right. These days I'm not so bad. I'm still very jittery around large groups of people (large being greater than 3), but my glasses make no difference to how I feel about that, so it's not necessary to hide any more . Speaking of large groups of people, I took another wander through town again today, to try to find my bearings, with large numbers of people around. It was actually surprisingly quiet, which was quite a relief, but it was nice to just wander, buy a few things and find out where things are. I'm slowly getting a picture of the town centre. Doesn't mean I can find anything yet, but I'll get there !

I tried ringing Caroline this evening, but then found that I've got nothing to say. I'm sure I used to be able to do the small-talk thing. I think being on my own for such a long time, I don't know how to do that any more . She's got a temperature at the moment, though, so I hope she's feeling better soon. I'll send her good thoughts this evening in the hope that it makes some difference.

I've finally unpacked all my books today, and found homes for them. It doesn't feel exactly right, but I'm reasonably happy with them there.

These are the moments I'm gonna be keeping these are the treasures important to me [ Right Here Inside Me, from The Closing Of The Pale Blue Eyes, by John Wesley ]

I've set Simon up with WiFi today as well, so he'll be able to use the network now. I had a bit of trouble with it until I realised that I'd got MAC filtering enabled so even with the right key nothing would work. I felt a little foolish.

The nights embrace me while This picture simply blows me away I feel I need only your voice [ Cold Heritage, from Unleashed Memories, by Lacuna Coil ]

I had a thought this evening, that I had photo which was the right size for my Pooh picture frame. So I hunted it out, only to find that it's the wrong size - the frame is square, so regular passport style photos don't fit right in it. A little frustrating, but I'll just have to see if I can find another picture that fits into (gets out his newly-found Winnie-The-Pooh ruler, to measure the size) 4.5cm x 4.5cm. Just as I was looking at the picture I'd found and trying to decide whether it'd fit in the other frame, the above section of Cold Heritage was playing. It just amused me, being quite appropriate. Now, that's not a coincidence. That just happens to be at the same time .

Simon's just gone to bed and I've noticed it's midnight now. I don't seem to have achieved much today, really. I've been hunting for a phone lead that I know I have but cannot seem to see in any of the boxes - but hunting for it, and the associated re-sorting of things (albeit making more sense) took most of the day. It turns out that I have so many parallel port leads that they don't fit in a box that's dedicated to them. That's pretty strange in its own right. Some of the rest of the time has been spent in trying to tidy other parts of the house, and putting books in their right places.

Ian mentioned today that the diary for yesterday had got confused, with a number of repeated entries that had come from earlier in the week tacked on to the end. Don't know why that was, but it's fixed now.

And I've signed up for broadband, now that our number appears properly on their (BTs) databases. They claim it could take up to 15 days, which is quite frustrating. But at least it's in the process of being set up.

I think I know how I'm going to organise my books now. If things look good tomorrow, I'll take some pictures of the place. If they don't look so good, then I'll keep going until I've decided they do .

I tried yesterday to set up the PC to handle the remote, through the IRMan software, so that when my alarm goes off, I can turn it off. The only thing is that it only works if the machine's logged in. And since it won't have logged in if it's just woken itself out of hibernate, the remote does nothing. So that was a little pointless and frustrating. Oh well.

I've had a printer for a while that I was given by a friend. The only thing was that it's missing a power lead. Except I've just found a power lead for it which makes it strange that I've not tried it before.

Yay. I have a net connection. Phone's been connected, and as such I've now got dialup working. It may not be fast but at least it works ! As such I should have this diary uploaded and stuff.

Looking through my boxes today, I've found - not a lot of penguins - some scary things. Old cards from people, my dictaphone (doesn't actually work; I think the spindle mechanism's broken), a stack of lottery tickets (including the first day issue ticket), my page boy picture from Ian and Jane's wedding, my old computer (a Casio pocket computer from when I was at school, no longer wonking but may just need batteries), a tiny Pooh picture frame (without picture; I've never had any little picture to go in it ), my old scientific calculator (still working), my copy of Last Chance To See (which I've been looking for for ages!), my address book from school (from which I doubt there are any valid numbers any more - to answer a question from long ago, I've actually got Sarah Kyffin's address and phone number in here, and I knew them from Doncaster apparently), and some of the bits from my First Communion in York.

Some little bits bring a tear to my eye when I see them. Others just make me laugh. Yet others make me cringe. There are amusing sections in the draft of the Civilisation project guide (my A-level CS project), like the disclaimer: "It should be noted at this point that the development described in this manual is for the Archimedes version, over a period starting in April 1994, and for the BBC version starting in June 1993. Such development is in the author's opinion highly worthwhile and in no way constitutes 'a waste of time'", or the incredibly extensive acknowledgements section which includes a thanks to Caroline.

Um, reading back through the entry I've just noticed that in my boxes I've said there aren't a lot of penguins. That's a Dirk Gently reference - Kate (I think it was) was in hospital and in her mind was filing through the boxes of her memory. Knowing that humans only use 10% of their brains she discovered that the other 90% of the boxes were filled with penguins. Sounds almost sane to me. Of course what fills the 10% of my mind is mostly related to utterly pointless things like that.

Tired now, though. Must go to bed.

People say that you get out of the wrong side of the bed when you're in a bad mood. I've never quite understood that. Most single beds that I've ever seen have been against a wall, so there's no other side to get out of. Double beds, when they have two people in tend to be got out of the side that they're on, I assume, and when they have only one person in, is there really any particular preference ? Or that's what I thought. It's been a long time since I've been in a double bed, and thought that I'd be happy on either side, or if it came to it, the left side - because for the past few years I've been in a single bed, against a wall and the left was the only way out. Only I've now tried both sides, and really didn't feel right on the left of the bed, whereas the right was fine for me. So what's that mean ? That I'll only ever be able to sleep in a bed with someone that can sleep on the left ? Fortunately, Sam doesn't care which side he's on, just so long as he's not forgotten behind a pillow.

Still aching today. My legs were killing me when I got out of bed this morning. But they'll calm down I expect.

Hey, unpacking clothes, I've just found my blue sweatshirt from when I was at sixth-form. I honestly thought I'd left it somewhere and wouldn't ever see it again. Amusingly it still just about fits me.

I went out and tried the walk to work today. It's interesting and did indeed take me 10 minutes, as Simon suggested. All the roads have traffic lights and pedestrian crossings, so they're pretty easy to cross as well.

I'm mildly amused by the AMPlayer scrobbler which has been sitting here remembering everything that I've played. That's kinda its whole purpose, but it's still working, even without a 'net connection. Once in a whilst I see errors pop up from it like 'Catastrophic failure to connect; deferring by 29 minutes' but they're all expected when you've got no 'net connection. I'm really quite pleased that it works so well. Except I've just noticed a bug in the UTF-8 handling with deferred submissions, which is triggered by a bug in the latin 1 to UTF-8 conversion code with empty strings. Easy fix but silly. Since empty strings should only happen for the album name, and Last.FM doesn't actually deal in album names (at least it didn't when I investigated before), it wouldn't really show up. Plus, of course, I've had a 'net connection in the past, so it's not been a big deal.

I was just sitting here, trying to decide what music to play and I heard a funny sound - Caroline ringing. The problem is - not with her ringing, but with the phone - that the ringer sounds odd. It's not a ring like a phone should ring, but a sort of pretty pattern. So many things make noises these days that it's confusing when the noise isn't obviously a phone. I've tried finding another sound on the phone which is more phone-like, but I can't seem to find anything that sounds right.

Anyhow, Caroline rang and cheered me up no end. I feel a lot better now. On the other hand she was asking me where I was in Reading in relation to roads and I had no idea how to explain the roads around here, 'cos I don't know them that well yet. Yay. Feel a little more settled now.

I also think I've worked out how to stop the excessive over-logging that I've got going on with SlimServer as well. Not that I'm using it here. But it will be used on boo, at home. So, if I can remember how to get into that machine remotely, and if the phone line is set up tomorrow, I can fix that. The log here has grown to 744M. Top Tip Of The Day: Don't try loading said file into pico, even if your machine has got half a Gig of memory in it. It'll not work so well.

All being well, we get phone tomorrow. Of course, things might not be well. But we will see.

I've had my first full day in the house now. Still unpacking, moving things and stuff like that. There are still a lot of boxes around. Gettings Simon's machine on to the network may be a little more tricky than I had anticipated, but not impossible. It's probably going to need a few more wires; the wireless card I've got doesn't seem all that good in his room. It's an old 802.11b card, and it seems to be only running at 1MBit/s. Which isn't too neat really.

I'm still reasonably relaxed so far. Although, physically I couldn't move all that much this morning. My legs are still complaining about going up and down stairs. My arms aren't quite as bad, but they still make their presence (and, more importantly, objects) known.

Work rang me yesterday as well, to let me know that I'd be able to do induction on the first week, getting back in to Reading at a reasonably sensible time (all being well). I've got stuff arranged for Friday afternoon, because I'd been told that my first week would be in Reading.

I found out why Simon couldn't get my DVD player working yesterday. The fuse had gone on the plug. Not blown. Gone.

I moved in to the new place today. The flat's quite nice, and despite my having filled my room entirely with boxes (and most of the living room) initially, it's now looking almost sane. I still can't move around parts of the room, and I have yet to unpack such unimportant things like 'clothes' but for the most part the place is livable. It doesn't feel like home yet. Computers are semi-set up, enough that I can have music. I have a bed to sleep in, and I have a kitchen that whilst it's not tidy at least can be used. The living room's somewhat filled with stuff still because I'll get to that later.

I miss Greebo, though. He was following me around all this morning like a lost little kitten. He didn't want anything to eat, or drink, or to go out (the doors were all open) but just wanted to have cuddles. Aww. Mum and Dad rang Simon this evening to tell him that we were home. Didn't want to speak to me though .

I don't think there's much else to say - as usual, it's been reasonably stressful, and tiring and yet there's not much to write about.

Tired now. Should sleep.

So how are we doing on the resolutions thing ? Let's have a see. First, and most important, was to actually do something about Caroline. That's kinda going well. I know where I stand and, despite it not being exactly what I would like, I guess I just have to try to let go of that and just accept where things are. So that's quite sad, but at least it's somewhere.

I've passed my driving test, which was quite important. Yay for that. I've got a new job. I'm moving to a new place for the job, so I'm leaving home - again - and I'll be getting to know a whole load of new people.

This will definitely be the last entry before I move, because the computer's being dismantled in a few minutes. I'm still a little scared, but at least I know that I'm going to be safe with Simon down there.

I'm about to dismantle things now so... here goes...

[Edit: Written that night, on the laptop]

I've got little Greebo curled up with me in bed tonight. He's been very lost around the boxes today. He just seems to want to have a cuddle.

In any case, everything's now packed. Or at least all the stuff that won't be packed first thing in the morning as we clear around everything that has to be packed finally.

I'm really tired now. I know I'm going to be knackered tomorrow.

Oooh! We have a house. Or rather, we have the keys now - specifically Simon does. It's all really quite exciting. Yay. Which means that I'm moving in two days time. I guess the diary updates won't be happening for a bit, but they'll still be updated locally so when I've got a 'net connection they'll appear. Hopefully.

Time, time, time, time, time to understand the horror Time, time, time, time, time to understand the monster [ The Horror, from The Horror, by RJD2 ]

It's just strange.

Right. This may be the last public update for a little while, so I'll say a quick goodbye for now. I might get a chance to write something tomorrow if I'm feeling good about the last bit of packing. We'll leave on an upbeat-ish note.

So hold me and keep me sailing; Hold me close to you. Keep me from failing, Disappearing from you. Keep those clouds dispersing. Never leave my side. Don't let that peaceful water, Don't let it subside. [ Fold, from Lights, by Archive ]

I was pondering today, because someone had mentioned about things being on TV, about the shows that are on at the moment. The Stargate (2008, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM))Action/Adventure/Fantasy/Sci-FiWhen the Stargate team goes to see Ba'al, the last of the System Lords, being extracted from his host. All of a sudden, Tealc, Vala and all of their allies start to vanish. Later Carter, Daniel, and Mitchell try to escape through the Stargate but find themselves not on earth but on a ship trapped beneath the polar ice cap. They learn they are on the freighter that was delivering the Stargate found in Egypt in 1939 to America. The ship is about to sink and they evacuate. They are picked up by a submarine and brought to a Naval Base where they learn the SG project never happened. They try to warn the government that the Gouald might attack earth. But the government doesn't believe and tells them that they're being released and given new identities and not to talk about what they are talking about. Three months later, the Gouald attack and the government asks for their help.Stargate's got me thinking. In the US, Stargate SG-1 (1997, SciFi)Action and Adventure/Science-FictionThis sequel to the 1994 movie Stargate chronicles the further adventures of SGC (Stargate Command). It turned out that the Goa'uld Ra was only one of many alien System Lords who used the Stargates to conquer much of the universe. When Earth uncovers a working cartouche to decipher the coding system of their own Stargate, they find they can now travel anywhere. Earth's military sends out SG teams to explore new planets, find technology, and oppose the Goa'uld. Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson from the original movie are part of SG-1. They are joined by Sam Carter, a scientist, and Teal'c, a Jaffa who is convinced the Goa'uld are not gods.Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis (2004, SciFi)Action and Adventure/Science-FictionThe story of Stargate Atlantis follows the cliffhanger episode on Stargate SG-1's seventh season finale "Lost City", where SG-1 found an outpost made by the race known as the Ancients in Antarctica. After the events of Stargate SG-1 season eight premiere "New Order", the Stargate Command sends an international team to investigate the outpost. Soon, Dr. Daniel Jackson discovers the location of the greatest city created by the Ancients, Atlantis. The story unfolds when the members of the expedition encounter the Wraith, the race that defeated the Ancients ten thousand years ago.Stargate Atlantis have been on their mid-season break (something they do over there, apparently - that's what you get for having 24 episodes per season, including the 'clips shows', but anyhow...) and don't restart until April 13th (apparently). And yet in the UK, SG-1 and Atlantis have been showing on Sky One and finishes season 10 (and with it, SG-1 entirely) tonight (Atlantis actually finishes tomorrow night, I think). Atlantis completely had already aired on a Canadian channel anyhow.

I used to be frustrated that we don't get shows from the US that quickly - shows appear here long after they're cancelled or a season or so behind. But it doesn't seem that way. Last year we got Eureka (2006, Syfy)Comedy/Drama/Science-FictionThe sleepy Pacific Northwest town of Eureka is hiding a mysterious secret. The government has been relocating the world's geniuses and their families to this rustic town for years where innovation and chaos have lived hand in hand. U.S. Marshal Jack Carter (Colin Ferguson) stumbles upon this odd town after wrecking his car and becoming stranded there. When the denizens of the town unleash an unknown scientific creation, Carter jumps in to try to restore order and consequently learns of one of the country's best kept secrets.Eureka (retitled 'A Town Called Eureka') only a couple of weeks behind the US showings on Sci-Fi. Battlestar Galactica (2003, SciFi)Action and Adventure/Drama/Science-FictionIn a distant part of the universe, a civilization of humans live on planets known as the Twelve Colonies. In the past, the Colonies have been at war with a cybernetic race known as the Cylons. 40 years after the first war the Cylons launch a devastating attack on the Colonies. The only military ship that survived the attack takes up the task of leading a small fugitive fleet of survivors into space in search of a fabled refuge known as Earth.Battlestar Galactica is actually half a season behind, but that's still better than you'd expect. Dresden Files (2007, SciFi)Action and Adventure/Drama/Science-FictionHARRY DRESDEN -- WIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates.No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment. Harry Dresden is the only wizard who advertises in the Chicago yellow pages. And he's the real deal. Charms. Potions. Spells even. Dresden is a haunted man (in more ways than one) who has sinned and been sinned against. But in the darkness of his past, he finds an inner strength and a driving desire to set things right. Armed with his trusty staff (okay, it's a hockey stick) and winning personality (if you don't mind the snarky sense of humor), and aided and abetted by his annoying spiritual advisor, Bob (doomed soul, expert in magic, noodge), Dresden champions the underdog against all manner of supernatural threats -- for five hundred dollars a day. Plus expenses. Dresden doesn't do parties and he doesn't do love potions. But if the hocus starts to pocus, if the going gets... strange, if the things that go bump in the night start packing a punch, call him. He's in the book. Based on the best-selling novels by Jim Butcher, The Dresden Files has been described as being a lot like Harry Potter... if Harry Potter had been written by the illegitimate love child of Raymond Chandler and Douglas Adams.Dresden Files is running only a few episodes behind, on Sky One. But here's the thing... Sky went for Dresden Files. Let's not knock it because it's good. Dresden Files is being shown on US Sci-Fi channel. But UK Sci-Fi channel managed to get Heroes (2006, NBC)Action and Adventure/Drama/Science-Fiction/FantasyHeroes is a cult serial saga about people all over the world discovering that they have superpowers and trying to deal with how this change affects their lives. Not only are they discovering what having superpowers means to them but also the larger picture of where those powers come from and what they might mean to the rest of the world.Heroes - an NBC thing. How they managed to pull that off is a mystery to me - I'd like to think that Sky just dropped the ball on it and completely missed how wonderful the show is. Not that I think it's a bad thing that Sci-Fi picked it up, but... Heroes is great, and it's popular in US as well, apparently - I just checked the ratings and it seems to have come joint 18th for last week - which given its competition isn't that bad. There's a lot of cack on TV though .

I guess I'm slightly biased because I like Sci-fi shows, and there's actually been quite a few recently that have been very good and recognised as such.

Coincidences shouldn't happen, as I think I've written a few times before. There's a whole load of reasons why this sort of thinking isn't sensible, but it seems sane to me. Why is this any different from normal ? Well, apparently Caroline's brother works near to where Chris used to live, and where his parents still do live. It's silly. They're like a mile and a half away.

I was looking at the maps (Google Earth is a wonderful thing, but it drags you away from things you should be doing), and noticed 'The Minack Theatre'. I didn't realise quite how far it was! Oddly, I didn't make any note about the holiday in the diary, which is very strange for me. I'm sure I remember writing something, but my memory does suck. Anyhow, retroactively, here's what I remember.

I believe we saw Jane Eyre. Now, the thing that Mum and Dad and Simon had told me about the Minack is that it's on the side of the cliff. No, that's not right. It is the side of the cliff. That means that it's quite exposed, and can be cold - it was reasonably cold when we went, but we were wrapped up quite warm with our blankets. And it was evening - it was light when we started, but very quickly became dark and that together with the sea just in front of us made it very magical (I'm not sure you can say 'very magical' but it was great). I remember the wind getting up once in a while and the actors having to keep their balance - or clothes - quite carefully.

They're doing Les Miserables (for schools) at the start of April. Bah!

I had a delivery today. I was typing away on the laptop, and I heard something do through the door. So I toddled off downstairs to see what it was and there's a delivery note 'While you were out, we called to deliver 1 parcel on behalf of A, at 12. Your parcel was left Back door'. 'A' isn't my abbreviation. That's what it says; the sender does start with 'A' but that's not helpful really. Also, I was in and nobody knocked or rang the bell. And it was 10:10am.

So that's 'Home delivery network', delivering for 'Argos'. Pity you can't choose your delivery company.

Oh, she deals in witchcraft and One kiss and I'm zapped. How can heaven hold a place for me When a girl like you has cast her spell on me? [ Female Of The Species, from Spiders, by Space ]

I'm going to try making a DVD out of some .avi files tonight. No idea how well it'll work out, but I'm hopeful.

Most of my desk is now in pieces and ready to go. Everything else has been smushed together on to a single desk and whilst it feels cramped it's still quite useable.

3 free days, then I'm moving. Argh!

More packing today; nothing huge, just a few bits and pieces. Feeling decidedly crappy today to be perfectly honest (I think that sounds like something Julian would say). But, out of it, I've nearly finished Mum and Dad's server setup. It's in that fun transition stage where I've not quite moved everything over yet, but it's nearly there. All being well, their server should shut down at the same time as mine. It should also restart itself in the morning.

But somewhere in my heart There is a star that shines for you Silver splits the blue Love will see it through [ Somewhere In My Heart, by Aztec Camera ]

Not sure where that came from; it was kinda floating around my head this evening.

I've felt so very jittery today. Partly because I know I'm moving on Friday. No, almost entirely because of that.

Oh, I got to chat to Sue this evening. She's installed Skype as well, so you never know, I might even be able to stay in touch with her more easily. It's nice having mail, but sometimes it's easier to chat line-by-line, or phone-like.

Something's just reminded me that my dream last night had balloons in it. I don't remember anything else but I do know it had balloons. I do remember that before going to sleep I was fed up so I decided to watch the DVD from where I was up to. Only, the 'where I was up to' was Friends (1994, NBC)ComedySix young people, on their own and struggling to survive in the real world, find the companionship, comfort and support they get from each other to be the perfect antidote to the pressures of life.Friends episode "The One The Morning After", so I just felt even worse after that.

I moved the index page around a few days ago, so that the diary was the top link, and the others were in the order that made the most sense. Only thing is that I keep clicking on the 'Stories' icon, which is where the diary used to be. It's a little annoying, so I might swap it back later.

We had a bird down the chimney today, and had to take the fire apart to let him out.

And I've just smacked my head aginst the door frame, whilst trying to let see if Greebo wanted to come in. And it hurts, and it hasn't made me feel in the slightest better.

I've been writing a little bit of code for the past couple of days so that I'm not completely useless when it comes to having to do that kind of thing for work . After not doing anything properly (I've mostly been doing perl recently) for a while, it's quite strange.

But one thing that I noticed (because I'm writing stuff on RISC OS - it's still easier for me, although the actual difference is minimal really) is that I've accumulated quite a few diagnostic dumps over time. Many are from Flash which seems to crash out a lot for no good reason. And perl, which doesn't like having the CSD set to an invalid directory. But other than those, there's a little bit of a history of the development of things. If I was to step back I could probably trace what I was doing at a particular time by the dumps that had been left behind .

But the reason I'm seeing diagnostic dumps is that something's aborting in SVC mode and I'm getting a trace back through to my application. Annoyingly it's not my bug. It looks like one of the specifications omits a quite important implementation detail which a pair of components collude with. Not my fault but quite annoying to have to deal with.

I don't need a reason. I don't need to understand. [ Want To Be With You, from Sur La Mer, by The Moody Blues ]

Today doesn't seem to be that memorable. I've got a small note here to remind me about a dream last night, but aside from the note the rest of it's gone from my head. The only thing I've got jotted here is something about running back home and finding Caroline wasn't there, and deciding to go somewhere. I'm pretty sure that any symbolism it might have had has been lost by that being all I remember now.

I had Greebo curled up on the pillow with me last night, as well - which doesn't help because I tend to wake up more often when he's there.

Not a lot to say about today. I've actually written some C code for the first time in ages, both original and porting other people's, so it's varied. It's nice to know that I can still do that as it's kinda important. But it's now 2am and I really need to sleep.

I've got 20 quid of Andys Records vouchers here. They're not exactly doing much, and I don't really want to bin them. They'd be kinda handy if Andy's was still trading. As it is they're just quite pretty and a bit pointless. The back of the pack has a list of the stores - there are about 40 on it, so I'm guessing these truly are years old. Plus the vouchers themselves have a 'published 1993' written on them.

I woke up 3 times this morning, each time worried about moving and the job. . As well as that, I had Greebo asleep beside my pillow when I went to sleep, and when I got up (and all the times I woke up) he was still there. Which is sweet - he so rarely does that. I'll miss him.

I was trying to remember what happened in Scrubs this week, and then I realised... nothing did 'cos it was a pointless clips show.

I got all paniced last night because I got in to bed with the light out and then couldn't find Sam. He'd fallen down the side of the bed though.

Yup, today's not actually had much happening.

Chatting to Simon today, he keeps telling me to calm down and not worry, because everything will be fine. I know he's right, but that doesn't stop me being worried. What do I do when I'm worried ? I write stuff. Only, I've not written any code - well, C, anyhow - in months. Maybe that's why. I should toddle off and write something I guess.

I ended up writing some more perl, and it didn't work after all that. Well, it did what I wanted, but it turns out that I'd missed a little bit of the protocol specification, so what I wanted to do wasn't actually possible.

Oh, but we do now have a phone number for the place, so at least that's something. That's sort of settled me a little. But not much. And I've tested the regular dialup modem so that if we can't get broadband initially (I'm sure there'll be a whole long delay to get that set up ) we'll at least have some Internet access). I've dropped most of my friends emails to let them know I'm moving and what my new address is and stuff.

Under normal circumstances I'd go and read a book now. Only they're all packed.

I had a nice day out in Cambridge with Sue today. Had some food, chatted, wandered down by the river, and stuff like that. Quite fun.

On the way to the train station, I had a slightly ironic thought. The whole reason for learning to drive was that I might be able to see Caroline more easily... and of course, I'm now leaving the area entirely. I'm pretty sure that's irony.

I've signed my tenancy agreement today, and I've just got to forward it to Simon for him to do the same. I did have a small panic about getting a witness to my signature though - I don't know anybody around here . But fortunately, Barbie came around and did that, which was really nice of her . And I've filled in the bits for my driving license as well, so that has to be sent off, as well. It's hardly the most exciting of things, but it's all getting there. It's almost like I'm a grown up. Nah. I'm not going to pretend that's going to happen.

There's a little oddity I've been pondering for a while. BitTorrent Inc. started offering 'legal' downloads of films and the like. This means that there is a company whose profits will come from the use of BitTorrent. We'll set aside any other arguments about BitTorrent and the like for now, because it's the fact that it's a company with a legitimate need (and the blessing of the movie people) to use BitTorrent. But a lot of ISPs are using port blocking and other techniques to restrict the use of such software. Does this mean that those companies are then open to having BitTorrent Inc go after them for damaging their customers experience ?

Saying it, that seems silly, because the ISPs are probably quite reasonable in defending their connectivity, but let's try to draw an analogy. Let's say that BT didn't like another company. Let's call them Telecom Mogova, 'cos I've just made that up. People using Telecom Mogova made a lot of calls to people on BT (Mogova's got a dirt cheap workforce, and has really good connectivity to the outside world). BT find that a lot of their traffic comes from call centres in Mogova, swamping its network at times, trying to sell any old rubbish to people. Concerned that its other customers may be penalised because of this other traffic, BT restricts access to Mogova's customers so that everyone can use the network. Telecom Mogova is somewhat annoyed at this and says that its agreement with BT is for a fixed fee and unlimited calls across the network. BT says that Telecom Mogova is being unreasonable and exploiting the 'unlimited' nature of that agreement. Meanwhile, Aunt Doris in Mogova still can't talk to her friend Eileen in Bognor Regis, because the connection's still saturated.

Of course, in this analogy, 'BT' is the ISP, 'Telecom Mogova' is both the customer and BitTorrent Inc, and 'Aunt Doris' is the customer. I'm not sure that the analogy works well, but I can't seem to get it right.

In any case, my point is that a legitimate company (BitTorrent Inc) is having its business controlled by a third party service provider (the ISPs). If BitTorrent Inc decides that it's not doing well, couldn't it go after those ISPs for restrictive trade practices, damaging to its business ?

I've passed my driving test! Fourth time, admittedly, but... I did it. I can now drive. Whee! It's just so exciting! Tomorrow I'm off to see Sue one last time before I go away. That covers the sum-total of the friends I have living around here. I'm still very shy . I must get photos tomorrow so that I can get my proper license, as well. Which means that I have to remember tomorrow that I have to get photos.

I had lots of problems sleeping last night. I kept waking up, and half-remembering dreams. I know I was dreaming about losing Greebo when I moved away, because I'd taken him with me and he didn't want to stay. For some reason I was at the top of a tower and had to take the lift and he didn't like the lift. And he was a younger cat, too. Then I went visiting Caroline and found Greebo in a hole, there. And there was something about a red jumper, or some form of top, but I'm not sure where that fitted in to things. Anyhow, by the time I woke up properly this morning, I was somewhat confused .

Actually, after I got up this morning, between thinking about bittorrent and the confusion over what's real and what's not, I found myself again cursing moving to Reading. Well, I'm doing it in any case. That doesn't stop my questioning whether it's one of those things that I do which ultimately turn out to be Really Stupid.

Mum mentioned last night, I think, that Giana was going to see a specialist today. I don't know what happened with that, but I hope everything's ok, or at the least understood.

I really want to say something more constructive, but I'm just aching and tired so I'm going to bed. Before 0:30, as well. I'm impressed.

In a departure from my usual style (the usual style being to whine about Caroline, ramble about dreams - which reminds me, I was trying to get myself arrested in the one I had on Friday night - and talk aimlessly about music), I thought I'd tidy up my browser by closing a few of the tabs that I've left open because they've got cool things to remember. And because they're cool things to remember, where better than to put them here. A real diary entry will be tacked on to the end.

A long time ago, because of a 'Studio 60' episode, I couldn't remember the what was sent to swallow the bird in the nursery rhyme. Fortunately, Poppy's website helped out. As I recall, Poppy was on Egham Hills, which I used to frequent in the dim and distant past, and so when sticking the search for 'I Know An Old Woman' into google and seeing that site pop up as the top link amused me greatly. More amusingly, in the last couple of minutes, I've found a link to a filk I did for 'You Oughta Know', apparently. I don't remember it at all - really, I don't. I apologise for the spelling because there are a few typos in there. My 'Nothing Ever Happens' filk was far better, I think, but I'm not sure where that went.

Hmm. A brief search of my email shows it up as being in the Egham Hills Spodmag issue 154, titled 'Nothing's Going To Happen'.

Ages ago someone posted a link to a picture of a rather cute TFT display. That would go nicely in our living room. Taking up most of it, admittedly.

This confused me. It's a little gadget for playing internet radio, using WiFi (802.11b). Which means you have to be in an area that has decent WiFi coverage - and be able to use that WiFi. And since the times you want to use this kind of thing are generally those times when you're moving, surely this is not exactly useful ? Plus the price is insane - $229.

Let's say you want to connect an external hard disc. Ok, so you could easily go buy yourself a NAS, but not everyone wants to do that - it might be a one off thing, or you might just want to get a few bits off an old disc. Whatever the reason, having an external interface to some of the internal disc sockets is handy. I've actually got a PATA IDE connector around here for just such things. But this 'Magic Bridge' is kinda neat in that it also has SATA support - handy when you really don't want to take your machine apart just to copy a few things. It's only USB 2.0 so it's not astounding, but as a quick and easy was to connect a drive it's neat.

Whilst looking for something (probably related to the above means of connecting external drives), I found a reasonably cute (in principle) media player enclosure. The idea is that you can stick a reasonably large drive in to it pre-filled with video, and play them back through your TV or monitor. Or copy them to it using USB. And you can manipulate images on external cards by sticking them in the slot as well. There are actually a few of these sorts of things around these days (LifeBox for example, although it appears to have pre-fitted drives), but it's still a neat idea.

Whilst trying to work out how to get places by train (which is handy, if you don't drive) it's often useful to know the routes. Searching by the online timetables is fine, but sometimes you need to have a little more spacial awareness of the routes. Fortunately National Rail have maps to help . And they do. The schematic isn't actually as useful as you might think, but there is a very cool map of the whole network. It even has Brandon on it .

Someone mentioned BartPE to me a while back. The idea is to get a bootable CD that you can use to fix up things in Windows. A little bit like Knoppix, but really just meant as a rescue environment for Windows systems. Quite a cute idea - but I've not tried it myself.

I've got a page here linking to SendIt's X Files Box Set offer (which still seems to be valid) of an entire season for £12.89. I've only got series 1 here, so if I had money to spend I'd be quite tempted. Dunno if it appears elsewhere for cheaper, but it was lying around in a tab waiting to be looked at.

Chris reminded me, some time ago, of the track Entropy, by MC Hawking which (I think) we heard whilst at University. Reasnably fun, but I wanted to find some simpler sciencey bits. One of the sites I found was the Singing Science Records site, which are a group of science-related songs from the 50s and 60s, it seems. I've heard a few and they're reasonably fun, in a strange sort of way. It was, itself, found from a site which links to Physics songs.

From the SlimDevices mailing list, I noticed someone asking about the Optimus Mini Three. Which is kinda cute, albeit of limited use . There's also a keyboard concept they're putting together with configurable keys, which would be neat. Although probably insanely expensive.

Dave Ward's been playing about with VoIP recently, and mentioned that he'd got himself a 'Zoom' VoIP adapter. Together with sipgate, this seems to do the job for him. Something to think about in the future, I think.

Whilst trying to find out why some special characters were coming out wrongly I came across a reasonably nice tutorial on character codes which attempts to explain the different character set issues. It's not complete - there's a few things missing that I know of, but it doesn't aim to be - however, it's pretty nice as a collection of a lot of the issues.

There's a full list of the tracks in "Burnout 3: Takedown". My favourites are still Just Tonight, by Jimmy Eat World and C'mon, by Go Betty Go, although there are a lot of good tracks on there (and some poor ones, obviously).

At one point I wanted to write a Windows Screensaver. Before I decided I couldn't actually be bothered, I found a little group of examples which might have helped. It certainly seemed readable to me - which is not an indication of correctness, obviously .

Caroline suggested a nice description of how being ill affects her, from one of the sites she's come across. It actually focuses on Lupus, but is still relevant. That, and another she suggested, have been very helpful in trying to understand how she is.

Packed up my CDs today. It's not like I actually listen to physical CDs that often, the MP3 on the server are so much more convenient. But having them is more important. On the other hand, I'm leaving a few here which complete a few of the collections (Genesis, Marillion, etc).

I've been quite irritable this evening, which I put down to a combination of being frustrated at moving away (q.v. yesterday), and nervousness over having a driving test tomorrow. We'll see how it goes tomorrow, I guess.

Whilst looking for my Nothing Ever Happens filk, earlier, I stumbled upon one of the old 'friend survey' things that I got years ago from David Chess. I decided to update it with a modern version of those answers, but in having done so it's now after 1am and I need to sleep. Eventually I'll stick it on here as a comparison. It's mildly interesting.

But I mention it because I got a similar little survey, albeit shorter, from Caroline today. You see, this is the thing about coincidences that I don't like. I haven't seen one of them in years - must be about 5 years at least since I saw one (David's was in 2000, and I don't remember any since then), and then on the same day that I find one in the process of going through other things, I receive another. "Coincidence ? Or something more sinister?"

Such things shouldn't happen. Well, I realise that coincidences do happen, but still, it doesn't feel right that they should happen like that. But to say that it's not a coincidence means that there's some influence involved and as part of the process is entirely private to me (ie nobody made me sort out my browser tabs which caused me to look for the filk, which caused me to find the survey), said influence would have to be over-watching and external. And that's not something I'd like to think of. And of course for there to be a non-coincidence, there has to be purpose. I'm not sure what purpose there would be in making me look at surveys again. That said, in having looked at them and updated what one of them said, it made me think about me, and - more interestingly - it made me question whether there was a reason for the coincidence happening. I don't think I can follow that line though, because for an influence to cause a non-coincidence in order to indicate the existence of an influence in the first place... well it seems a little contrived.

If there was indeed some external influence then you'd think they'd do something more impressive than just to make two things happen together, albeit unlikely things. Burning bush'd be my bet. But despite the fact that it seems an unlikely state of affairs, I'm still questioning whether it's possible, rather than just two random events happening. I know I'm prone to whimsy (I believe that's the right usage of the word), but it still feels odd.

I guess I'd like to find a religion that believes that there are non-coincidences in the world, except of course, that I can't find it in myself to be part of an organised religion because I still think that people have far too different a set of views. Or maybe I just like to sit on the fence .

It being, now, 2am, I really need to sleep.

So... today was my last real opportunity to see Caroline before I go away. I'm not really sure that it's sunk in yet that I won't be able to see her. I don't want that. I really don't. It's like taking away an arm. Although without all the frustration of not being able to put on gloves easily.

Joking apart, though, it's quite upsetting. Recently we've been getting on really well, and I know that for me 'getting on really well' is probably a world away from other people's, but there's a whole world of mental baggage that I've put up against just that instance, so it's more significant to me. So how does it feel to know that the person I wanted to spend my life with, and who I still can't seem to be spend time with without thinking that Christmas has come early... how does it feel to know that I'm not actually going to be able to see them ? Pretty darned awful. It's not impossible, though. I mean, I can still visit. It's just not as easy a trip, that's all. With a bit of thought I could still do the same sort of thing that I did today, on another Saturday. Leave at 9am, get to a station near her around 12. Leave her at around 5, and be home before 9pm. It's possible, nay, feasible. That doesn't mean it's sensible, though. Maybe she'd be glad to see the back of me and a hundred or so miles between us is a good thing.

But none of that is going to change... so let's see what we've done today!

Oh, it was lovely! I had a great time. Prior ramblings aside, I had lunch with Caroline, and a little chance to chat and generally spend time without feeling too stressed which was nice. And then it got to 3pm and Jessica coming home. I don't mind saying that I was actually quite scared - because Caroline's Mum and Dad were dropping her off, and... well, I have no idea what they think of me really, but think that they don't like me because of... well, stuff that happened. But they were really nice and friendly and we chatted about my new job and stuff for a few minutes.

It was only a few minutes but I actually felt comfortable then. And now. I'll probably still be scared of them in the future, but at least I know that they're not bad people and can talk to me. It's probably not a big deal and I should be just glad that they even remember me after all this time.

Once they'd gone there was something a little more scary, though - Jessica. I don't really know how to deal with children sometimes. I've met Jessica before, at the party, and we played and I enjoyed myself, but... I'm just not sure what to do. (Actually that's just true about so many things it should be taken as read, but still...) Still I had a good time with them both. I saw her scrap book from last year - there's a gorgeous photo of her with some 'ephemeral art' (I never even knew what 'ephemeral' meant until a few years ago, so I was very amused to see that as a description!). It really is a lovely picture.

Then we had a choice of films to watch. Caroline suggested "The Princess Bride (1987)Adventure, Comedy, Family, Fantasy, RomanceA kindly grandfather sits down with his grandson and reads him a bedtime story. The story is one that has been passed down through from father to son for generations. As the grandfather reads the story, the action comes alive. The story is a classic tale of love and adventure as the beautiful Buttercup is kidnapped and held against her will in order to marry the odious Prince Humperdinck, and Westley (her childhood beau, now returned as the Dread Pirate Roberts) attempts to save her. On the way he meets an accomplished swordsman and a huge, super strong giant, both of whom become his companions in his quest. They meet a few bad guys along the way to rescue Buttercup.The Princess Bride" , and Jessica suggested "The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (2005)Animation, Adventure, Comedy, FamilyIt's 'vege-mania' in Wallace and Gromit's neighborhood, and our two enterprising chums are cashing in with their humane pest-control outfit, "Anti-Pesto." With only days to go before the annual Giant Vegetable Competition, business is booming, but Wallace & Gromit are finding out that running a "humane" pest control outfit has its drawbacks as their West Wallaby Street home fills to the brim with captive rabbits. Suddenly, a huge, mysterious, veg-ravaging "beast" begins attacking the town's sacred vegetable plots at night, and the competition hostess, Lady Tottington, commissions Anti-Pesto to catch it and save the day. Lying in wait, however, is Lady Tottington's snobby suitor, Victor Quartermaine, who'd rather shoot the beast and secure the position of local hero-not to mention Lady Tottingon's hand in marriage. With the fate of the competition in the balance, Lady Tottington is eventually forced to allow Victor to hunt down the vegetable chomping marauder. Little does she know that Victor's real intent could have dire consequences for her ...and our two heroes.The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit" . Which makes things very difficult for me. As deciding vote I have to choose either Caroline's choice (which I love utterly), or Jessica's choice (which I've not seen but I really want to). Sorry Jessica, much as I want to see Were-Rabbit, "The Princess Bride (1987)Adventure, Comedy, Family, Fantasy, RomanceA kindly grandfather sits down with his grandson and reads him a bedtime story. The story is one that has been passed down through from father to son for generations. As the grandfather reads the story, the action comes alive. The story is a classic tale of love and adventure as the beautiful Buttercup is kidnapped and held against her will in order to marry the odious Prince Humperdinck, and Westley (her childhood beau, now returned as the Dread Pirate Roberts) attempts to save her. On the way he meets an accomplished swordsman and a huge, super strong giant, both of whom become his companions in his quest. They meet a few bad guys along the way to rescue Buttercup.The Princess Bride" is an easy win. Trying not to laugh before the jokes is very important .

Anyhow, then Caroline dropped me off at the station and they waved me off as the train left. It was actually about 7pm before I left them, which was a lot later than I'd expected - so much so that I didn't have a time written down for trains that late.

That about covers the day. I loved every minute of it. I just need to not be melancholic about things now. All being well, I should get to see her next month as she'll be passing the new place (or can make a small detour to get to the new place, at least). So many things could go wrong to make that not happen that I'm not going to count on it, but I'm still looking forward to it. Yes, I'm moving to a new town, and a new job, and I'm going to be meeting a whole new group of people (whose names I'm terrified I won't remember for more than 20 seconds), and I'm looking forward to all those things, but they're not comparable.

There was a total eclipse of the moon tonight. The moon was incredibly bright as we were driving back, and Ian mentioned that the eclipse was tonight, so with a really clear sky and a lovely view of the moon, I could actually see it really well. Very impressive to see it obscured and go red.

Finally... Here are a few songs, from the random colletion of things that I've heard today for various reasons...

Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? [ Mamma Mia, from Abba Gold - Greatest Hits, by Abba ]

... blame Dad, because he had Abba on when we were going to the station this morning, and so I ended up with Abba drifting over my thoughts all day .

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you please don't take my man Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene Please don't take him just because you can [ Jolene, from Ultimate, by Dolly Parton ]

... Caroline had a few things on in the car, and this sticks in my mind most, mainly because I've always liked it. Surprisingly (or possibly not) I'd not got any Dolly Parton in my collection. Honestly, that is surprising.

I've waited far too long For something I forgot was wrong I don't know all the answers [ Until I Fall Away, from New Miserable Experience, by Gin Blossoms ]

... on the way back I selected random and got Until I Fall Away, which was quite a nice thing to return to.

You drink your coffee, I sip my tea, And we're sitting here, playing so cool, Thinking, 'What will be, will be.' [ Will You?, from Breaking Glass, by Hazel O'Connor ]

... isn't related to today, but because filenames with '?' in them aren't allowed in SMB file transfers, so the file failed to copy to mum and dad's music drive, and I had to fix it up (along with many others). It's a gorgeous track, and has a lovely saxophone solo section.

Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find You and I collide [ Collide, from Stop All The World Now, by Howie Day ]

... which followed on immediately from What Is Love?, by Howard Jones, and seems rather nice - I'm not sure why it's in my collection, though. I think I picked up a copy because it was on something; probably Scrubs (2001, ABC)ComedyScrubs focuses on the lives of several people working at Sacred Heart, a teaching hospital. It features fast-paced dialogue, slapstick, and surreal vignettes presented mostly as the daydreams of the central character, Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian.Scrubs, going by the sound of it.

Why does my heart, feel so bad ? Why does my soul, feel so bad ? [ Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?, from Play, by Moby ]

... is another cool track with a '?' in, which needed fixing. Lyrically it's... limited .

By now you should've somehow Realized what you're not to do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do About you now [ Wonderwall, from What's The Story Morning Glory?, by Oasis ]

... has an album name with a '?' which grabbed my attention; not heard this in absolutely years... which reminds me ...

It was a theme she had, on a scheme he had, told in a foreign land. To take life on earth, to the second birth, and the man was in command. It was a flight on the wings, of a young girls dreams, that flew too far away; and we could make the monster live again. [ China In Your Hand, from Bridge Of Spies, by T'Pau ]

... which Caroline flipped over just as it was starting - I like it but she says she's heard it too much. It certainly has been played a lot, but I've not heard it in a while. I'm sad, so I can actually say that it's been a long time - 9th December 2005 was the last time I played it. Over a year ago. Oh, and there's a cool saxophone solo in the middle here, as well.

This is the book I never read These are the words I never said This is the path I'll never tread These are the dreams I'll dream instead This is the joy that's seldom spread These are the tears... The tears we shed This is the fear This is the dread These are the contents of my head [ Why, from Diva, by Annie Lennox ]

... which just popped into my head this evening as needing to be heard. It's... probably suitable for me .

If you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it. [ Opportune Moment; Jack Sparrow; Pirates Of The Carribean ]

... which would be that melancholia that I mentioned above. Well, it's time for bed now I think.

Oh, damn. I meant to mention something about her 'net connection that I'd been researching. Bother. I'll try to remember tomorrow - strictly today, now.

The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities, suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space, according to the now famous Theory Of Relativity which, briefly explained, is simply a matter of taking two eggs, beating lightly and adding a little salt and pepper according to taste... [ Theory Of Relativity; John; Yellow Submarine ]

There appear to be engineering works on the trains tomorrow so I may have to be taking a bus when I'm seeing Caroline. Frustrating, but that's the way it goes. Grr.

Greebo's decided to stay outside tonight. Despite the fact that it's cold and raining and... icky.

It's March. Which means that I'm a couple of weeks from moving in, and a month from starting new job. Oh goody.

I don't seem to have got much done today, it seems.

Yesterday I was doing some bits and pieces in perl and a thought occurred to me. Completely unrelated and unbidden, I had a cunning idea for how to integrate UTF-8 (and other character set translations) into filing systems without requiring all filing system to be updated, or changes to FileSwitch. Silly how these things come to you when you don't care.

Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night. And this is only Thursday morning. [ A lonely place; Yellow Submarine ]

"Yellow Submarine (1968)Animation, Adventure, Comedy, Family, Fantasy, MusicThe singing group, The Beatles, at the height of their popularity, made this cartoon of a land that is taken over by the Blue Meanies. They are recruited by an escapee to come and bring joy (and music) back to the land. The techniques are quite psychedelic in the cartoons and much care was taken to have the walks and mannerisms of the individual Beatles cartoons match the originals.Yellow Submarine" 's very strange. And very cool, obviously. Watching it now, I recognise more bits than I had before. Or maybe I'd just forgotten. It's possible that dancing on the chair with the cat at 1am to When I'm Sixty Four might be considered by some to be a little strange. I think the cat thinks it's a little strange, but then I'm not feeding him, so clearly it's a bit strange .

Palette switching: It's not big, and it's not clever.