One day... I won't believe the things that I know to be untrue.

Today's dream was about the last day of term. There were snow storms and we were hiding out in the common room - like the Ludlow common room from The Grove actually. I wasn't bothered about saying goodbye to many people. I was having a cup of tea at a table when Caroline walked in.

I don't want to sleep. If I sleep, I'll dream. And they're not nice.

Looks like Atom specifications are now going live, so I've updated from the draft 8 feed that I produce to the draft 10 version. The feedvalidator has already been updated to validate Atom 1.0 documents, so that's about I'm pretty sure that I'm safe now. Yay. Unless they've missed something on the validator that I've also missed. Which is possible, as Sam Ruby is still saying it's not considered seriously ready yet.

Two other things that Claire said yesterday that I've just remembered... One was that she tends to skim over the lyrics because they are generally depressing. That's a fair comment I think. It's not like it's a particular undercurrent of down music - it's just what I tend to listen to really. Of course now I try to think of something happy to listen to I can't really seem to think of anything. Roxette is mostly happy, but I don't think I want to listen to that right now. I think it's partly that lyrics which are down tend to be more interesting - you can be more clever in your words when you're talking about things that are less happy I think. I wonder if there's something about our language that makes it easier to express things that are sadder. Or maybe I just think that 'cos it justifies my using them more ? Maybe it's just that 'Sad Songs Say So Much' ?

In any case, here's something a little happier to read... hopefully!

Gold - always believe in your soul You've got the power to know - you're indestructable [ Gold, from True, by Spandau Ballet ]

Actually looking at them, the three tracks I have - Gold, Through The Barricades and True - are quite evenly split in hapiness. Gold is an up track. Through The Barricades is a very down track, I think. True is somewhat odd - it's neither up or down I don't think. Maybe someone will correct me.

The other thing she asked me was whether I wanted a link to a page for rating breasts as fake or real. Which is such an odd thing to hear from her that it's just weird .

Hmm. Trying to think of upbeat tracks my mind wandered to tracks which say "Look at me, I'm better than I was". The typical one that I always think of in that category is "I will survive" (Gloria Gaynor) which is great, but it's a very female-singer track. As Julian would say, it's Gender-specific (he's better with words than me). Although he'd probably argue that it wasn't actually, because it's only the association that makes it a female singer, rather than the words... but anyhow I think of it as not being something a guy could sing. On the other hand, 'I'm Still Standing' (Elton John) could quite easily be sung by a woman, I think.

And brought on by the same thought process (specifically, I was looking at Elton John's 'Too Low For Zero' album), I quickly associated "Tracks for those going nowhere" with 'Too Low For Zero' (Elton John) and 'Dancing In The Dark' (Bruce Springsteen). And then there's a sub-jump between those using the "tracks about strange sleep" which takes me to 'Sleep' (Archive). Yeah, it's a little bit of a jump to put Archive with those artists, but it's down to what you associate really.

Six o'clock alarm I get the wake up call Let that sucker jingle-jangle Ring right off the wall [ Too Low For Zero, from Too Low For Zero, by Elton John ]

I get up in the evening, and I ain't got nothing to say I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way I ain't nothing but tired, man I'm just tired and bored with myself Hey there baby, I could use just a little help [ Dancing In The Dark, from Born In The USA, by Bruce Springsteen ]

I need to sleep It's been a whole week [ Sleep, from Noise, by Archive ]

Looking at Born In the USA, there's a few excellent tracks on there - I'd not realised that they were on the same album. "Born In The USA" (which has to be one of the simplest America-weary rants ), "Glory Days", "Dancing In The Dark" (the anthem of the directionless), and "I'm On Fire" (which, I think I've mentioned before, is a quite scary track). Actually, I think someone suggested that Daddy might just be an older man ('Sugar Daddy'), rather than literal. Which makes it a much more reasonable track. I think it's just the dark beat that actually manages to convey a restrained desire (hey, maybe that's just me associating the track, rather than interpreting the music, but still that's what I think) that makes it seem a lot more scary.

It's also Weeting Steam Rally this weekend so we can expect a lot of peep-peeping from the engines for the next couple of days.

Trying to locate a picture knowing only what it looks like in a general way is really hard. I've been tempted, whilst looking and trying to think of what I would write about this, to use the phrase "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like". I wouldn't usually use the phrase because it's puts across a quiet arrogance - as if ignorance places your opinion on a par with those who do know art. Um, which isn't to say that being ignorant of the details doesn't allow you to have an opinion; just that the phrase is usually used poorly.

But I digress... it became obvious whilst I was looking for the picture that I didn't actually know what I liked. By which, I mean that there were quite a lot of things that I thought deserved more attention, because I thought I would like them from looking at thumbnails but I couldn't justify the time to look for it. Because I knew it would be hard to find what I was looking for and therefore I'd have no idea how long it would take, I didn't want to get too distracted.

Since I was looking at particular groups of pictures which are (generally) popular, it's not all that surprising that I should find them interesting and pretty. But still, it's a whole area that I've never really put myself in to, sadly.

In any case, one of the pictures I was looking for, I found. "The Lady Of Shallott" by John William Waterhouse. I think at one point I had known its name, but it hadn't been committed to memory in the strong way that the picture had. In any case, it was one of two that I rather liked. I can't find the other.

Which, I think, makes the second reference to an artist in the entire diary - Bosch being the other. Some might just say that they were an odd combination to have mentioned. But then I'm odd.

David Chess pointed to the frustrating game of 'make no lines cross'. I've managed up to level 7 before I become frustrated.

One of the things I came across today was the 'In Case of Emergency' (ICE) mobile phone idea. Basically the idea is that you put into your phone book a contact number with the name 'ICE' followed by the name of the individual and in an emergency they can be contacted. Seems like a very sensible idea to me. I was going to email a few of my friends suggesting the URL and idea - I've always been somewhat paranoid about not being identified, or anyone being contactable if I had an accident - before I decided that it wasn't worth doing because the frustration of receiving blanket emails wasn't really justified, and I decided to put it in the diary instead. And then this evening I got an email from Claire suggesting it. Um, which isn't to say I don't appreciate it being suggested to me - just that it was strange the she emailed me on the same day .

Claire did also say that the diary seems to be lacking in content recently. It's well written non-content, apparently, but still doesn't say much. I've not got all that much to say, I suppose.

And I managed to find a bug in some of my code today that took quite a long time to track - I was corrupting R14_usr. Such a rudimentary mistake. Oh well.

I ended up watching far too much Dead Like Me (2003, Showtime)Comedy/Drama/Fantasy18-year-old George Lass (Ellen Muth) dies when a toilet from the MIR space station falls from the sky and hits her. Upon her death she discovers that she has been slated to become a reaper, a figure who removes souls from others just before death to ease them into thier individual afterlives. Rube (Mandy Patinkin), her new boss in the afterlife introduces her to fellow reapers Roxy (Jasmine Guy), Mason (Callum Blue), and Betty (Rebecca Gayheart). In addition to reaping George discovers she must find a way to support herself in the afterlife and takes a job at a temp agency working for Delores Herbig (Christine Willes) where she had worked at the time of her death. The series also follows the continuing drama of how George's family is dealing with her death as she follows the lives of her mother Joy (Cynthia Stevenson), father Clancy (Greg Kean) and sister Reggie (Britt McKillip).Dead Like Me yesterday. There's definately a 'just one more episode' thing there. Whilst I was watching it I could see squark outside flitting from umbrella to fence and back again. I think he had caught a feather on something because it wasn't sitting straight. It was sticking up and every so often he'd peck at it and try to get it out. The cats were both curled up on my lap, so he was quite safe outside in the garden. Probably about as safe as if they'd been out, come to think of it.

Oh, and I noticed two people from Stargate SG-1 (1997, SciFi)Action and Adventure/Science-FictionThis sequel to the 1994 movie Stargate chronicles the further adventures of SGC (Stargate Command). It turned out that the Goa'uld Ra was only one of many alien System Lords who used the Stargates to conquer much of the universe. When Earth uncovers a working cartouche to decipher the coding system of their own Stargate, they find they can now travel anywhere. Earth's military sends out SG teams to explore new planets, find technology, and oppose the Goa'uld. Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson from the original movie are part of SG-1. They are joined by Sam Carter, a scientist, and Teal'c, a Jaffa who is convinced the Goa'uld are not gods.Stargate SG-1 in Dead Like Me (2003, Showtime)Comedy/Drama/Fantasy18-year-old George Lass (Ellen Muth) dies when a toilet from the MIR space station falls from the sky and hits her. Upon her death she discovers that she has been slated to become a reaper, a figure who removes souls from others just before death to ease them into thier individual afterlives. Rube (Mandy Patinkin), her new boss in the afterlife introduces her to fellow reapers Roxy (Jasmine Guy), Mason (Callum Blue), and Betty (Rebecca Gayheart). In addition to reaping George discovers she must find a way to support herself in the afterlife and takes a job at a temp agency working for Delores Herbig (Christine Willes) where she had worked at the time of her death. The series also follows the continuing drama of how George's family is dealing with her death as she follows the lives of her mother Joy (Cynthia Stevenson), father Clancy (Greg Kean) and sister Reggie (Britt McKillip).Dead Like Me, too. Dr Fraser (as the estate agent), and Colonel Maybourne (as the priest). Startling.

Lover's in love, and the other's run away, Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay. [ Stay, from Tails, by Lisa Loeb ]

I'll go anywhere with you Just wrap me up in chains But if you try to go alone Don't think I'll understand [ Stay, by Shakespear's Sister ]

Do you remember When we used to have so much fun? I used to cry sometimes Those days are gone [ Stay, by Sash! ]

Don't be afraid It's gonna be all right [ Stay, from Like A Virgin, by Madonna ]

Hey, that was fun.

A-boom boom ba - Can you hear my heart beat in this world A-boom boom ba - Do you know that behind all these words A-boom boom ba - Lies the deep desire [ Boom Boom Ba, from Boom Boom Ba, by Metisse ]

Boom Boom Ba was used as some background music in Dead Like Me (2003, Showtime)Comedy/Drama/Fantasy18-year-old George Lass (Ellen Muth) dies when a toilet from the MIR space station falls from the sky and hits her. Upon her death she discovers that she has been slated to become a reaper, a figure who removes souls from others just before death to ease them into thier individual afterlives. Rube (Mandy Patinkin), her new boss in the afterlife introduces her to fellow reapers Roxy (Jasmine Guy), Mason (Callum Blue), and Betty (Rebecca Gayheart). In addition to reaping George discovers she must find a way to support herself in the afterlife and takes a job at a temp agency working for Delores Herbig (Christine Willes) where she had worked at the time of her death. The series also follows the continuing drama of how George's family is dealing with her death as she follows the lives of her mother Joy (Cynthia Stevenson), father Clancy (Greg Kean) and sister Reggie (Britt McKillip).Dead Like Me, which I've now finished watching. It's really cute. Actually, it's quite scary to listen to because it's easy to associate with something quite sad happening at the same time.

Nearly 4am. Mum's still not home.

And that is 4am. And I think I just heard the car pull in to the drive.

It's light outside; Squark was outside the window, so I went outside to say hello, put my arm out and he flew down and landed on my hand. He's nice.

Jogu: So. They're removing all the stones the neds throw at the building, and replacing them with smaller stones? Ian: mm Jogu: That just sounds like a challenge to me. Jogu: "We think you won't be able to break windows with these smaller stones!" [ A challenge; Jogu ]

With apologies for paraphrasing.

The kitten computer accessory guide (link stolen from David Chess).

I was awoken this morning by Grendel crying. It was very hot last night, so I left the windows open. Usually this means that the dog next door wakes me up with its constant barking. But this morning, it seems that it was Grendel who was doing the waking. Mum had gone out a few minutes earlier (found out later by comparing the time she left and I woke up) and Grendel was standing in front of the house, by the road meowing over and over again. He's not usually like that when people go out - particularly if I'm in the house.

So are we left to chance meetings, Is that all we can depend on? Resigned to raise glasses in anonymous cafes, Reciting our failures as if we needed that proof of regret [ Just Good Friends (Close), from Internal Exile, by Fish ]

Normally we keep note books so that we don't lose phone numbers. If we lose them then there's always the BT directory and others. And then there's the stranger method I've just used - query the whois database. It's probably not the most sensible way of keeping track of people, but if you remember a domain the person uses it's probably just as easy. Of course, it does also rely on the person including their address in the database, but most people do.

I spoke to Matthew Godbolt for a while this evening. He's still got as much energy as he had before .

Mum and Dad are back from holiday now, as well.

Sometimes it's too easy to see what you've lost; so easy that you miss what you've got.

Nothing much to say tonight. It's 3am and I can't think of anything useful to say about the day really.

I know it's out of fashion And a trifle uncool But I can't help it I'm a romantic fool [ Echo Beach, by Martha And The Muffins ]

Hmm. I wanted to say something profound about seeing through holes. But I can't seem to find the words right now.

Down to the earth I fell With dripping wings, Heavy things won't fly [ Tonight, And The Rest Of My Life, by Nina Gordon ]

It's 5:35 now, and I'm sitting on a train from Birmingham to Cambridge. Today has been, so far, quite relaxed and stress free which is rather nice given the panics yesterday with Hannah. I set off from Reading at about 3 o'clock - even though parts of London's overground service are running according to the news and Network Rail, it still seemed to be a sure fire recipe for pain. So instead I decided it would be more sensible to go up to Birmingham instead. I'm hoping to get home around 9 o'clock, all being well. In the meantime I just have to amuse myself. I've got another 2 and a half hours on this train, delays notwithstanding.

I'm tempted to remove the unnecessary phone book entries from my phone, as I managed to SMS the wrong person. Strictly that's more it being silly to try to send SMSs whilst trains are pulling in to stations. Still, removing numbers I don't need would probably reduce the likelihood that I would SMS someone that wouldn't expect to get such a message.

It seems that Buttercup still wasn't responding this morning, which means that there's something up with it. The discs are all Ext3 so shouldn't have too serious a problem if the power was fluctuating - and in any case the UPS should have kept the machine running for quarter of an hour, which is usually enough for simple things. I've never got the automatic power down sorted.

To be honest I always thought that putting the power information and control as a Human Interface Device was Wrong. Not that that should stop me setting it up, but the hassle of having to install a new HID in the kernel makes it much more problematic. I have a machine that works. I don't go fiddling with the Kernel unless it really does need to. The problem there is one of viewpoint. Linux's Kernel is not suited for the kind of plug-in system that I prefer. Yes, there are loadable modules and such-like but I don't believe that you should need to rebuild the Kernel just to have a UPS control driver. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding the way that it works - I am, after all, on a train, quite some distance from the documentation and resources which could confirm or deny the above.

I'm hungry now. I should have got something to eat at Birmingham. Oh well.

It's 6:20 and we're stationary outside Leicester. Oh, we've just had an announcement there are 'trespassers on the line who are being cautioned' apparently.

My words are cold. I don't want them to hurt you, If I show you, I don't think you'd understand 'cos no one understands. [ Take Me Away, from Under My Skin, by Avril Lavigne ]

This may make things tricky. We're running around 30 minutes late. The train should get to Ely at 19:57 and my connection leaves at 20:27. Fun. It's days like these that it's frustrating that we don't have anyone that does deliveries to the village. No matter, I'm sure I can find something to cook when I get in. Assuming, of course, that I can manage to get from Ely to Brandon.

Home now. We made up good time and I caught the Brandon train - which is fortunate as it was the last one. Grendel wasn't around when I got in. Greebo had some food and then went out and then ran around the house and outside madly - I think he was looking for Grendel and upset he couldn't find him. Finally I went down the road calling out 'Grendel' with Greebo following me, and heard a little meow from over the other side. I kept calling and he kept answering then finally came bounding over one of the fences meowing at me. The three of us walked back down the street and a finally picked him up and he nuzzled a lot.

Did I disappoint you ? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth ? [ One, from Achtung Baby, by U2 ]

Anyhow, home and rested a little now. Buttercup seemed to be stuck trying to establish an initial PPP session and hadn't booted properly. No idea why or anything. After a reboot it came up just fine and there was no problem with it.

And I've now copied the diary entries off the laptop so that I can upload something in case any one was worried about me - it's not likely but it might happen.

And something David Chess said reminded me of something I meant to quote last night...

Last night I shook hands with the devil In a dream that I can never lose He laughed when he saw me cryin' At the pictures on the evening news He said it's not really a dilemma You're just a little out of touch Don't think of the situation 'Cos it'll make you think too much [ Someone Always Hates Someone, from Beggar On A Beach Of Gold, by Mike and the Mechanics ]

Which I think I've quoted before but it'll do anyhow.

It's early on Friday morning now. Hannah finished work and got stuck in London whilst we were watching the news about the terrorist attacks. She'd got up around 5pm the previous day for Simon's birthday meal and then gone to work. She ended up walking around a reasonable chunk of central London before finally getting a train out to Guildford. Julian met her there and one of his friends gave her a lift in to Reading. By the time she reached here it was about 5pm, and she was quite frazzled. Simon spent a lot of the day on the phone. Sarah - one of Simon's friends - and I were keeping him company and at least slightly sane (I hope). Sarah was offering to help get Hannah home too, which was nice. Simon's work were being quite inconsiderate and trying to get him to come in to work - when his girlfriend wasn't even home yet and the police were telling people not to travel; but we convinced him to not go eventually. They were both asleep by 7pm in any case, and they'd have been no use to anyone.

Nobody that I'm directly in touch with was around London other than Hannah, fortunately. I'm pretty sure that of the people that I don't regularly keep in touch with, were not around London at that time.

And as a result, I'm still here in Reading. I tried working out my route home and was quite happy about it until Simon pointed out that I'd used Liverpool Street station. I'm pretty sure that it will be too chaotic to even consider - I'd just been concentrating too much on avoiding Kings Cross. All being well, I'll go through Birmingham instead and be home by mid-evening on Friday.

Oh, and Buttercup doesn't seem to be working today either. Not that I've been all that worried about getting anything from it today, but it's a little bit of a bother. Using webmail to read email is frustrating.

I've not been able to sleep for the last couple of hours so I've been reading code and documentation and writing this little entry (obviously the latter hasn't taken as long).

I did a bad thing. I left Grendel out last night. The first thing I knew about it was that Mum rang to ask how he was and I said I was surprised because he wasn't sleeping with me. After a brief investigation it seems that I forgot to let him back in. I don't remember letting him out in the first place, but he was outside the patio doors waiting to come in. After he came in he settled right down on the bed with me and was all cute and attention seeking.

Simon's birthday today; quite a nice day visiting him. Met some rather interesting people, and some very strange people. Sadly Hannah had to work so we didn't see much of her, but at least we got to see Simon. Sarah Kibble, one of Simon's friends, came to visit him and was stopping at Simon's as well. She's rather nice too. She's in first year university, and it was strange to hear about University life from someone who's going through it. I don't know many people who are any more.

Change at Cambridge for trains to Kings Cross and all London destinations, which I've just heard will be hosting the 2012 Olympics. [ London 2012; Train announcer ]

Simon's friends are quite fun - a very strange bunch though. One of them whose name I did know but have now forgotten was very funny. He managed to effortlessly out-weird even Julian. I can be odd, but... no, not that odd.

I saw something today that I've not seen in a while. It was a smile. I know it's not a big thing, but it was a smile in a way that I've not seen in years. There's nothing much to it really, but it was a rather strange thing to see.

Unfortunately - as always - we were talking until very late, so it's getting light as I write this. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep quickly tonight. It's never easy getting to sleep, and sleeping in Simon and Hannah's bed is very different as well. Simon and Sarah are still chatting downstairs as I write this; it's light outside and I really need to sleep.

I started writing something for Simon's card today - it was meant to be something strange just so that I could comment on it not making sense. Only instead I found myself writing a pretty poor poem. Oh well.

Yay, my hamster got committed [ Committed ?; Alex ]

Once in a while - sometimes with the disapproval of friends, and more often without discussing it with friends so that there can be no disapproval - I do things that are probably not the most sensible. Today was one such thing. A few days ago, I got the feeling (yeah, don't ask me to explain the reasoning behind it because it's not entirely based on what you'd call solid facts) that Sarah Nicholls was looking for my site. So, working from this assumption, the barest little of information I have, I looked through the Emirates phone book for people called Nicholls. Finding no Sarah there, we're widening the search and find there's a Robert Nicholls and a couple of numbers for them. So today, I decided to ring - remembering there's a 3 hour time difference. Sadly I got an answer phone. I didn't want to leave a message because it hardly seems fair to say "Hi, I'm trying to reach someone I knew seven years ago who has the same last name as you and happened to live in the same country as you do, can you ring me back".

Later that evening, though, I got a call from whoever was there asking what I wanted. So that blew away the idea that Caller-ID didn't work over international boundaries. But I now know that she's not there. Well, it would be a little bit of a miracle if she was, after all. No matter.

You've got to love the excitement.

Something finally struck me today. Nothing too important now. Three little words, that I should have said long ago. Not the normal ones. But I should have said them, and I didn't. Not that they would have changed anything, but that's not really the point.

Oh, and Chocolate Orange Digestives are nice.

No Grendel tonight; he's sleeping with Greebo on the chair downstairs. So it's possible I may get some sleep.

Grendel woke me at 7am this morning, wanting some attention and cuddles even though he'd been sleeping on my shoulder all night. He's been in and out today but he's eaten his anti-biotics which is at least a good thing. There was a little bit of a worry when he was nearly sick with his first tablet but I shouted at him and he ran upstairs.

This evening he's managed to split his stitches a little so that they're weeping, but seems ok. I think he'd either washed it himself, or had Greebo clean him up. Greebo doesn't seem to have paid him much attention really. Now that Grendel's settled on the bed, I'll be going to sleep soonish, anyhow.

Watched all of series 1 of Arrested Development (2003, FOX)ComedyLevel-headed son Michael Bluth takes over family affairs after his father is imprisoned. But the rest of his spoiled, dysfunctional family are making his job unbearable.Arrested Development today, whilst sitting with the cats. Quite amusing, anyhow. Probably should have done something more productive but oh well.

Her feelings she hides. Her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind She's falling behind. She can't find her place. She's losing her faith She's fallen from grace. She's all over the place. [ Nobody's Home, from Under My Skin, by Avril Lavigne ]

Eek, Tatu did a version of 'How Soon Is Now'. It's not particularly wonderful, in my opinion, but it is slightly different. It has a kind of 'dead' sound to it though, which is strange.

Many people will no doubt quote bits from this day, but I'll select a few that really have been worthwhile.

Thank you for coming. It would have been a bit crap if nobody had shown up. [ Thank You; Bob Geldoff; Live 8, Hyde Park ]

This is the United Nations. [ United Nations; Kofi Annan; Live 8, Hyde Park ]

And the tracks that I really enjoyed were U2 doing One, Dido doing Seven Seconds, Bob Geldoff doing I Don't Like Monday's... but remember there was still a lot of other things that were great. Sadly I missed Madonna doing Like A Prayer. Robbie Williams and A-ha were also good to see. Sadly The Pet Shop Boys were only on the other country views so I didn't get to see much of them. I caught a little bit of Duran Duran though.

Grendel's got a lump on the side of his neck. We've left him at the vets and he'll have a proper examination tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be OK.

Mum and Dad go on holiday tomorrow, so I'll be on my own for a week.

I was fixing up a spelling mistake in the old diary and found the 'Universe in 40 jumps' page that I'd sort of forgotten about and been impressed with. A lovely sense of proportion to the world.

And because, of course, it's a lovely little thing that you should know, I remembered David Chess asking for 'something interesting' to tell his daughter - he tries to think of something brief and interesting to tell his little girl ever night. I'm rather pleased that he selected mine - mainly because I thought (and still do) that it was in itself pretty amazing.

However, I've done nothing that I really meant to do today.

Oh, and it's a new month. Golly-gosh.