31 Dec 2005 (Saturday) 

Snow gone.

You've got to love Friends Reunited. It seems that security isn't actually that important to them after all. Why do I say this ? Because they've just emailed me to say that there's some stuff to see on their site, and included 3 letters of my password in the email. Given that the password is only 7 characters long that's only slightly less than half the password - four characters instead of 7. So rather than 1 billion combinations of letters (let's just work on the assumption that the password is alphabetic characters in upper or lower case) it's now only 7 million combinations of letters that someone has to search. Yes, big number, and I'm unimportant, but still... I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. You only have to click one link for them to send you your full password to you - no security checks or anything like that. Maybe that's not so important, but sending it in general emails really does seem a bit silly.

In any case, I'm still highly tempted to just remove my details from there.

Turns out I can't count. My password is only 6 characters, not 7. So it's exactly 50% of the password that's compromised on a bulk mailing. Quality.

I'm sitting here, it's 2:30am and I'm watching a programme on Live 8. It's held me quite captivated since it started at 1am.

Year update for the diary tonight, which I did whilst watching the Live 8 programme. Lots of 'fun' really, because the process isn't automated. Just creating new files from old ones and generally updating stuff.

I've just tried doing a build of the stuff from the day and there's a lovely error message that's popped up.

PartNumber: Year may be wrong

There's a little section of code that does IF year<1999 OR year>2005 THEN.... It's a long time since I wrote that.

Oh damn, and I've just noticed that my graphic for the diary is all wrong, too (it says 1998-2005). And all the side-bars will need a new entry. The side bars aren't hard. Actually the graphic's been wrong for a while because it should say 1988-2005 really. And I still have to summarise December 2005.

Opening track for 2006 (damn, I just wrote 2005)...

I think about you on a moonlit night And the stars all seem to weep. When there's so much to lose There's never any time for sleep. [ Stars All Seem To Weep, from Central Reservation, by Beth Orton ]

Well, that's the sidebar fixed but it won't actually work until the whole diary is rebuilt. That'll take a while. And I've not done a December summary yet. I'll give that a whirl tomorrow I think. It's nearly 4am and I feel pretty naff.

Oh, and don't you all feel so lucky to have had that extra second to live through at midnight ? There was a leap second added at midnight.

Bah, there's no more Dilberts in my calendar. Mainly because it was a 2005 calendar. And now it's 2006.

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29 Dec 2005 (Thursday) 

My elbow is still rather sore this morning.

Last nights fun dream involved visiting Caroline who was cooking something with lemon slices, and swimming in a canal with Simon and Hannah and helping a butterfly that couldn't swim so well.

The day started well, and then progressively got worse and worse as I got more and more bogged down in failing dependencies. "X fails because of Y; Y has a fault with Z; Z isn't possible because M isn't finished..." and so on... so much so, that I've actually forgotten some of the things that were in the middle. So I'm going to go to bed and see if things feel any better in the morning.

Apparently it was Thursday today. Didn't feel very Thursday.

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28 Dec 2005 (Wednesday) 

Newton: This is not a marriage. It is a simple arrangement in which I will share my house with her, in exchange for which she will argue with me and generally make my life look really pitiful. Marty: That's marriage. [ Fake Marriage; Newton Davis; HouseSitter ]

Now I can only type with one hand. I was sitting at the top of the stairs. Ok, lying half way up the stairs trying to explain to Greebo that when he cries for food he has to actually follow me downstairs and not just sit at the top of the stairs looking hopefully at the bottom. And I swung my arms out to lift myself up and smacked my funny bone rather hard into the skirting that runs down the stairs. I can't move my left arm and three of my fingers feel like they've been detached and replaced by plastic replicas. Or rather, like I imagine that they would feel if they had been detached and replaced by plastic replicas. 'cos I've never had that done to my fingers and thus don't know what it feels like. Surgeons interested in trying out said experiment need not apply. Unless I happen to lose my fingers in a freak typing accident. Or by some other means. Man, it's hard to type cack with one hand. Actually, it's hard to type full stop with only one hand.

What else today ? Well, I finished this mini-project to Build A Better Mouse Trap. Ok, it's not a mouse trap, but it's pretty funky. It's gone quite exceptionally well, and as debugging tools go (it's a debugging tool codenamed 'PBTS' - not a mouse trap) it has already found a bug even whilst I was developing it which means it was worthwhile. I do begin to wonder, though, what the pay-off is for debugging work like that ? Is one day's development of a debugging tool worthwhile if it finds one bug ? Or two ? Or a week ? What if it then finds three or four bugs ? Does that mean that it's made a profit ? It's not really something you can quantify. It is obviously vitally important that bugs be stamped out - more so than that new features be added, obviously - but is there a worth that can be placed on the diagnosis tools that you develop ? At what point during the development of the tool does the cost-benefit ratio flip the other way ? Or more importantly, at what point during its use does it flip the other way, because during development there's usually no actual gains to be made.

I actually wondered, though, what I was doing in previous years. Usually I do funky things, even if they never see the light of day.

Last year (2004), according to the diary, I listed a load of old Opera links that I'd got lying around. What isn't mentioned, I think, is that I tried re-writing Repton Infinity, but got bored around the 20th.

In 2003, I made my old BBC game Feud work on RISC OS. Not entirely amazing, but still pretty cool.

2002 doesn't seem to have anything useful listed in it, though. And my memory doesn't tell me much. A look through the Adjust1i2 changes file tells me that I was playing with the different round borders, the Artworks IFR, IFR updates for PNG handling (pre-IFC, I think). There's no 25 Dec 2002 notes, as far as I can tell. Oh. Yes, the end of 2002 was 'waiting for a response from CTL' before posting to Linux Kernel Maillist about their blatant GPL violations.

I think 2001 was the Doom-with-snowflakes version.

Not sure about 2000.

And 1999, I was apparently moving ping into a module, and doing things with CMunge and JFPatch.

Last nights dream ? Returning to school after the christmas holidays and Caroline not being there. Lots of fun that was.

Whilst I was out today my phone bipped a message at me. Which is doubly strange, because I almost never take my phone with me like that and I almost never get messages. It was snowing and I thought it wise to have some means of calling people. Only it was just a message to Simon that had finally been delivered from yesterday. And the reason I remembered that is that it's just bipped at me now to tell me that it couldn't deliver Farren's 'Merry Christmas' message. Oh well.

That about covers today, I think. Oh, and I watched the pilot for Seven Days. I've got documentation to do tomorrow and some pending emails to reply to. But that, as they say, is tomorrow. Looking back on the previous years, I think that I'm a little more balanced and less irritable this year than those recent Christmases. However, I think that's just because I keep by ranting restricted to the shower . Or to late night 'I can't sleep because I'm ranting' days. Thinking that, probably I'm not any more balanced. Oh well. At least I feel semi-happy. Even if my arm is killing me.

I keep thinking "What have I got to do tomorrow" and then having to check myself - It doesn't matter, I can worry about that tomorrow.

And with that thought, unless I have more when in bed, I shall go off to bed. Apparently it's warmer tonight, so not likely to snow. Aww.

Bugger. It's a little late to curse, but I've just found one of the presents hiding behind a box. Oh well. Maybe next year ?

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27 Dec 2005 (Tuesday) 

Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens Wipe my nose get my new boots on I get a little warm in my heart when I think of winter I put my hands in my father's glove I run off where the drifts get deeper Sleeping Beauty trips me, with a frown I hear a voice you must learn to stand up For yourself cause I can't always be around He says... "When you gonna make up your mind When you gonna love you as much as I do" [ Winter, from Little Earthquakes, by Tori Amos ]

Yes, I know it's not so much about winter in a literal sense, but that doesn't really matter. It's gorgeous.

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25 Dec 2005 (Sunday) 

I was lying in bed last night, trying to get to sleep and my mind wanders - as is regularly the case - to things that I don't want to think about. And as I'm walking down the street in my imagination a yellow rabbit jumps out and chases me. Imagine 'Rabbit' from the Disney Winnie-The-Pooh and you've got something of the idea. He catches me, wrestles me to the floor and stabs me repeatedly in the stomach with a kitchen knife. That's not normal, I'm sure.

I was thinking, after getting an SMS from Justin, that I should send Caroline a Happy Christmas message. Only I don't have her number any more. Bah.

Julian got me "My Own Very Hungry Caterpillar Colouring Book" and some crayons. I'm going to colour it in.

The day's over now, and I'm going to go to bed.

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23 Dec 2005 (Friday) 

Wandering in the shower today, ranting, as I do, I remembered something - a tiny thing - from a conversation months ago which at the time seemed mildly amusing but now I think there was something important there. Unfortunately, I've no idea of the context. Try as I might, I just can't recall and although I think I could construct one from what I do remember, it's just not reliable enough. Ah well.

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22 Dec 2005 (Thursday) 

It's amazing how you can sometimes miss the very, very simple things.

It may be time to do the 'I'm clever and my code works' dance. We don't get to do it all that often. But when we do it's because of something very funky. Of course, in the wider scale of things (that is, outside the fact that it works) it means nothing at all. I'll get no thanks for it and no praise or anything. But what the hell, it works.

I can't believe it's the 23rd. Bah. Well, it is at this second; it's about 25 to 4. Damn. Time for bed, I think. I should check this lot in really.

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21 Dec 2005 (Wednesday) 

She says "It's only in my head" She says "Shhh, I know, it's only in my head" [ Round Here, from August And Everything After, by Counting Crows ]

Well, I'm pretty pleased with myself for today. It might have involved a lot of stomping and a lot of re-working of perfectly fine code, but I think I've got something useful out of the day. There's the usual slew of aborts and things that you get when you stuff things quite royally, but the results so far are looking very very promising.

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20 Dec 2005 (Tuesday) 

You only see what your eyes want to see How can life be what you want it to be ? [ Frozen, from Ray Of Light, by Madonna ]

Today started out well, because I'd got everything done last night that I was going to rely on today. So I began writing implementing the structures and bits that I was testing, based on the previous night's quite solid work. About 5pm it was 'nearly' working. At 7:30 I realised that there was a fundamental design flaw and things couldn't actually work the way that I had designed it. So I stomped off downstairs and watched telly for a bit. In the middle I made tea, got really really angry and rang Chris for a bit. Finally came back at about 9 and managed to actually re-design the code within the new bounds so that things could work. Then I ended up chatting to Julian (who's now home) for a few hours. It's now 6:40 and I'm tired but I've just had the first real tests of the new code within the test environment where it's actually doing everything it's expected to do. I'm quite pleased and finally calmed down from being angry at stuff, and from misdesigning things. Because it works. So far. Still got quite a way to go though. Another day or so anyhow.

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19 Dec 2005 (Monday) 

"So tell me the story about forever."

That's the line that popped into my head whilst I was doing my teeth this morning. I've not found where it's from yet. Which is obviously annoying me. It's possible that it might instead be "So tell me a story, the one about forever".

'It's little things like this that matter to me.' I think maybe if I were to sub-title the diary, that's the line I'd use. I know it's a very 'bloggy' thing to do, but there you go...

Why do I get hung up on trying to interpret a single word out of a sentence sometimes ? I hated that sort of thing at school, so why should I do it intentionally ?

The phrase "Midnight hour" made me look up 'Rebel Yell' earlier - it looks like Scooter have done a cover. Which is an interesting version. It's not sufficiently different to make it really interesting, but it's a little dancier.

She's got a long head start on your brain And your heart is afraid And you don't get to say you're thinking [ All Worked Out, from Feeling Strangely Fine, by Semisonic ]

Eek, it's Christmas on Sunday. Damn. It sneaks up on you.

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18 Dec 2005 (Sunday) 

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17 Dec 2005 (Saturday) 

"How many mutually exclusive thoughts can you hold in your head at one time ?" That's what I was pondering in the shower today. I guess I mean beliefs, rather than thoughts. Believing in two (or more) things which cannot be simultaneously true. It's not all that hard really, but it seems to get hard to concentrate with more than a few that you're trying to think about. Even if they're just things that are percentage beliefs. The simplest thing to think about (which avoids religion, which is just riddled with such things), is hearsay; if you've heard something from a number of sources, and something else from completely distinct sources. Usually I put this down as a weighting problem - you have to consider the reliability of the sources and you give their information a weight based on that. That way you can see what is the more likely. It never gives you a 'right' or 'wrong', but you have degrees of grey. I don't like greys, so I prefer to minimise the weights where possible.

Only that doesn't work when you're dealing in things that are solely invented. Yeah, that drifts toward religion, but that's a good example. Entity A offers you an explanation for the world but there is no proof, and their own reputation is based on the fact that they have told others the same thing and been believed (ie their reputation is a feedback of the original belief on offer, and therefore is recursively dependant on the belief being correct). Entity B offers another explanation, similarly with no proof, and their reputation is similarly constructed. Without any proof, the only information which is provided is that within the explanation itself, and therefore the only way you can give a weight to the different beliefs is to determine how self-consistent, and how reasonable within the context of other information you have, that they are.

Obviously inconsistent beliefs are massively down-weighted (as an aside, it seems to me that most religious beliefs are highly inconsistent). Which leaves you with how the belief fits with its surroundings. Obviously a fact such as "If there was a tuesday last week, you died then" is self-consistent, but it doesn't actually fit within other information ('last week' has gone and I'm reading this, so I didn't die) which clearly makes it invalid. I realise that that's just simple reasoning, but extending from original facts toward beliefs makes it more complicated.

A belief such as "the world rests on the shoulders of four elephants, standing on the back of a giant turtle", is self-consistent (yay), but doesn't hold up to known information. The 'world' is a giant object containing billions of people (fork off a second belief argument - we have only other entity's statement that the world contains billions of people, and whilst we have seen many people, there is a counter belief that only a few thousand people actually exist; weight of information tends toward the billions being correct, but actually I tend to give it a much higher weighting than there is any right to give it by the foregoing argument), whilst an elephant (fork - we have never seen an elephant, but we have seen pictures and we know the relative dimensions from their pictures, their life-cycle and knowledge of their basic anatomy (fork - the anatomical limits of creatures are based on the scientific basis of gravity preventing animals getting larger than particular limits because of the stress on their bodies)) is known to be big, but not world-big. However, as discussed in parentheses, this is irrelevant to the consideration of the belief because we cannot use a scientific argument within the confines of a non-scientific belief - unless the original belief asserted that elephants still obeyed the laws of physics which we understand (fork - from second hand information, backed up by personal observation) we couldn't use the laws of physics as a counter to it. Of course, if the belief had stated that the laws of physics were still obeyed by its assertion then the belief statement would be inconsistent, because the laws of physics includes a model for the world which it describes and which does not include the use of elephants, whether aided or not by turtles.

On the other hand, some beliefs are easier than others. As I know general christianity better than other religions, I'm going to pick examples from there - I'll come back to my reasoning on that later. Let's take Moses parting the red sea (I believe it was - here my source is my memory, because picking up a book will lose my train of thought). A person parting the sea does not seem to fit within the confines of the scientific belief system, but as we've said it shouldn't be considered within that framework. We have no reason to believe that water, or any other object can be moved by willing it or asking it - in our own experience nothing like that has ever happened (any belief which tells us that our own experience is false is obviously going to be given a hugely poor weighting). We've tried it. The bath didn't part for us. The sea didn't part for us. So the belief lives in its own little bubble where it can work on its own but doesn't fit with the world. Except that it can fit with the world. We know (fork - second hand knowledge provided by some of the billions of people in the world using technology to see parts of the world that we've never seen but are asked to believe exist) that earthquakes (fork - ground shaking events that scientifically we are told come from the movement of the plates under the earth, but some beliefs say are due to god-like actions) can cause such extreme effects. Can we use this information ? They're within contradictory belief systems, and yet one can be used as a validation for the other. Does that mean that the parting of the sea can be given a higher weighting, and if so, its weighting is dependant on the belief that the scientific explanation of the earthquakes is correct ? The difference is that the scientific explanation requires that the effects are natural, not at the will of an individual. We cannot therefore reconcile the two beliefs on those terms. However, we can rationalise a justification, but - and here's the important bit - we have to use an inference which is not stated in the original belief. If we infer that the the belief statement is correct but disjoint, then we can reconcile it with the scientific explanation - the red seas parted and moses was there; they were two events that just happened to coincide. However, we haven't actually given the original belief statement any higher a weighting. We've invented a new statement which we are using as a connection. The original still lives in its own bubble, but our new belief has a much wider bubble; it can be given more credence because it falls some way within the original belief statement and it is acceptable to the scientific beliefs. I think my point was that in trying to gain a higher weighting for the original belief, we've actually had to invent a new belief. Is that any more correct ? Possibly not, but it has a higher weighting because it's known to fit better with other accepted beliefs.

I said I'd come back to something earlier, and that was self-reinforced beliefs. Beliefs can be given a higher weighting because they're 'known more'. If you've gone on believing something for a long time then it gains in weight. Not though any conscious effort but because it's more familiar. Maybe that's also partly down to no longer requiring the evidence to be regurgitated to question it. How many times do you question that an apple with fall if you let go ? Nearly none, I imagine. If you think about why it falls do you consider the weighted sources of the beliefs you use to give the explanation ? Can you even remember where you got the idea that 'gravity' exists, or that its effects are what pulls you to the ground ? If not then can we consider that a blind acceptance of something without justification ? I say 'without justification' because we cannot provide the reasons. I suppose that's just saying "I know it, but I can't prove it from first principles".

Which has meandered a long way from where I was originally thinking, and along the way I've probably questioned the basis of religious and scientific thinking which wasn't even slightly on my mind when I was in the shower. Quite a few times, a couple of years ago, I remember chatting to Angela Rayner about something like this - she understands things from a more critical point of view, and it was comfortable to talk to her, knowing that she had considered things more carefully than I had. I guess that means that I had given her opinion a higher weighting, which was solely based on the knowledge that she had spent time studying such things. Hmm... I'm drifting again.

All of which has wasted half an hour or so, of which I probably should have been doing something more useful. Well, builds were going on so it didn't lose too much.

Actually, looking back, I didn't touch too much on contradictions at all. I think the problem was that I couldn't give a concrete example other than the ones going around my head at the time and which I'm not quite willing to spread to the world. Hey, my head is still my own at the moment.

I did think, maybe, that the above line of thinking leads to the argument that the only reason to believe that we're really here is that we observe that we're here and that we give a good weighting to the information from our eyes. Actually, it's possible that Chris would be able to give me some other ideas along these lines. He's doing Philosophy, I believe (yeah, I don't trust my memory sometimes!).

I'm looking at the results of the stuff that I've been doing over the past few days and it feels wrong. Actually it doesn't feel wrong on its own. The reasoning behind the new scheme is perfectly sound - it's absolutely necessary that changes be made in order to support interworking between systems in a safe manner. The new scheme is the most sensible, safest, and - if everyone actually updated things when they were warned of changes - most obvious next stage. The only problem is that no bugger's actually done anything about what they were told was going to happen. It'd be like ringing up the council to ask why your rubbish wasn't collected on the regular day, only to find that you'd been told months ago about the christmas collection changes.

And in the face of that sort of thing, what really is the point of doing anything ? What I mean is that nobody uses any friggin' interfaces you create. Everyone wants new features and you add them and nobody uses them because that would prevent things working on systems that don't have those features. So why bother adding any features at all ? In fact, why actually bother doing anything at all. If nobody wants to use the features, and people are happy to settle for what's gone before, is there really any point in doing anything at all ? It seems, like my life, to be ultimately not worthwhile.

One little thing that annoyed me about the last episode of Joey (apart from being obvious and... well, Joey - give the show credit, it's lasted much longer in my watching than Galactica did, and that's probably the standard by which all TV shows will now be gauged ) was that Joey didn't recognise that his best friend from high-school was Eddie, Chandler's crazy fruit-shrinking roommate. Which I suppose is like complaining that Frasier doesn't notice that a jingle composer who visits Cheers is actually his dad and he wasn't a policeman after all. But still, it's frustrating.

And in other TV-related news, the end of Space Cadets was on yesterday. Day before. Well, whenever it was. I've not been watching it all that much, but I do think it was Evil. And sheer Genius.

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16 Dec 2005 (Friday) 

I did indeed go to bed early last night. But at 3am, when I still hadn't got to sleep, I had an idea that solved one of my long-standing indecisions about how to proceed with a pair of components. So I got up and implemented half of that and then went back to bed. I still didn't get to sleep for another half hour, but it stopped my mind racing so much by doing a few hours more work.

It looks like there's a bug in CMunge. Well, not a bug but a failure. There appears to be no way to claim a vector and return an error. Which seems like a 'regular' thing to do, but I've never noticed its lack in the last x-years that I've been using (and maintaining) it.

The time is gone The song is over Thought I'd something more to say [ Time, from Dark Side Of The Moon, by Pink Floyd ]

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15 Dec 2005 (Thursday) 

I was talking to myself yesterday about how if anyone wanted to email me they could always do so - it's not like I keep myself hidden from the world that way(!) - and pine beeped at me. And I jumped, because it was a little bit surprising. It wasn't important, so I put it aside. And then I continued my rant to myself, saying that they could always ring - and the phone rang.

Tra-la-la.

Claire knows me too well, I think. But I still think she's wrong about some things.

So let me introduce to you This favourite play of mine A comedy called Germany You may not understand The funny thing it's about someone Who's never been alone [ Germany, from Eurotrash, by Zeromancer ]

I have almost no idea what the lyric is really saying, but I just think it's interesting; it provokes a whole set of thoughts about what it could mean and stuff. I like that.

Fed up.

Can't be bothered.

Going to bed.

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14 Dec 2005 (Wednesday) 

There's so many different worlds So many different suns And we have just one world But we live in different ones [ Brothers In Arms, from Brothers In Arms, by Dire Straits ]

Greebo's wanted a lot of attention this evening. Very odd for him. He's fallen asleep half on my lap, and half on the desk, with his head resting on my hand. Which makes it hard to type. And if I move my hand, he pulls himself over so that he's on it again. So cute. I think there's a grainy picture on the camera - there's not enough light in here for it really.

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13 Dec 2005 (Tuesday) 

Last night I couldn't sleep and kept going over impossible conversations. Annoys me. Anyhow, I woke up this morning and all I remember (now that I write this, in the evening) about the dream was watching from high up in a building as a room with Caroline in, in a building across the way, exploded. I think there was also something about someone leaving in a plane on the other side of town but I'm not completely sure about that.

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12 Dec 2005 (Monday) 

Every finger in the room is pointing at me I wanna spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now [ Crucify, from Little Earthquakes, by Tori Amos ]

I got a nice little comment about the diary earlier... "clive jones here from Black Widow nice to find us mentioned on the diary"... I'd mentioned them way back in 2000, but they are a occasional listen for me. Less so this year, as things have been more melancholic. Eek; how's that for poor? They don't appear in my last.fm top artists lists. Clearly not been listened to much at all in the last year .

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11 Dec 2005 (Sunday) 

I've got a hugely sore hand today from hitting a light switch rather harder than was strictly necessary.

I tried to get a good job With honest pay I might as well join the mob The benefits are okay [ Without A Trace, from Grave Dancers Union, by Soul Asylum ]

So... this weekend I was going to get some things done that weren't work but I've ended up doing work. Why ? Because every time I tried to do other things my mind immediately drifted to The Things I Shouldn't Be Thinking. And the way I know to avoid thinking those things is to do work - they (usually) vanish when I'm concentrating on complicated stuff. At about midnight, I thought I'd just check the CDRW I'd written off, but there was already a DVD in the drive so I looked at what it was - Angel series 5. So I watched and episode which was disturbing and so my mind drifted off to distract me and came to The Things I Shouldn't Be Thinking. I returned upstairs and to distract myself from that I've been locating and fixing nasty bug. So it's now just gone half 4 and I feel completely and utterly drained.

And my teeth feel icky 'cos I had a hot chocolate, too. Bah.

Bed time.

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10 Dec 2005 (Saturday) 

Since I got up I've been hunting down a single bug that should have been easy. It's now... uh, 15 hours later, and taking out a couple of hours for food, a little telly and chatting to parents, that's still a silly amount of time for a day I wanted to be doing other things.

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9 Dec 2005 (Friday) 

Atom's finally made it to RFC (RFC4287) status. Yay!

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8 Dec 2005 (Thursday) 

Yesterday was the cool Sci-Fi section. Today we have a cool, scary lyric. Yeah, it's old, but that doesn't mean it's not scary and cool .

Then I'm down in the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun, Torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike, And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell. And the last thing I see is my heart, still beating, Breaking out of my body and flying away Like a bat out of hell. [ Bat Out Of Hell, from Bat Out Of Hell, by Meat Loaf ]

Which is, at the heart of it, a pretty scary track.

So what other scary bits can I think of...

Run to the bedroom In the suitcase on the left You'll find my favourite axe Don't look so frightened This is just a passing phase One of my bad days [ One Of My Turns, from The Wall, by Pink Floyd ]

I should really find some way to collate these little mini lists so that I can update them when I think of things. I'm sure I've done a similar thing before.

Looks like part of the entry for yesterday wasn't private when it should have been. Oh well. Is now.

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7 Dec 2005 (Wednesday) 

You were going to be a doctor A movie star, a poet at a Nobel seminar I hope the world never tore that out of you [ Our Last Night, from Before The Robots, by Better Than Ezra ]

(fx: jar lid being opened in a toilet) Next morning, a crowd gathered on the Common, hypnotized by the unscrewing of the cylinder. Two feet of shining screw projected when, suddenly, the lid fell off! (fx: crash) Two luminous, disc-like eyes appeared above the rim. A huge, rounded bulk, larger than a bear, rose up slowly, glistening like wet leather. It's lipless mouth quivered-and snake-like tentacles writhed as the clumsy body heaved and pulsated. (fx: musical interlude) A few young men crept closer to the pit. A tall funnel rose, then an invisible ray of heat leapt from man to man and there was a bright glare, as each was instantly turned to to fire. Every tree and bush became a mass of flames at the touch of this savage, unearthly Heat Ray. [ Horsell Common And The Heat Ray, from War Of The Worlds, by Jeff Wayne ]

Tell me that's not scary . It's still one of the best bits of Sci-Fi, whatever form it's in.

Oh goody. I hadn't thought of that. 'Forever Autumn' is going to be in the live show, obviously.

Artilleryman: Look! There they are! What did I tell you? Journalist: Quickly, one after the other, four of the Fighting Machines appeared. Monstrous tripods, higher than the tallest steeple, striding over the pine trees and smashing them. Walking engines of glittering metal. Each carried a huge funnel and I realized with horror that I'd seen this awful thing before. [ The Artilleryman And The Fighting Machines, from War Of The Worlds, by Jeff Wayne ]

Oh, I've got a free subscription to Last.fm as an apology because of the problems they've had with their hardware. Which I think is exceptionally nice of them as I haven't actually been inconvenienced and to be honest I haven't seen that many people really complaining about it.

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6 Dec 2005 (Tuesday) 

It strikes me as a tad ironic that the Texas album 'Red Book' is actually a multimedia CD. Actually it may be that I'm just a tad sad for knowing that the Red Book is the Audio CD standard, and the Blue Book is the Enhanced Audio CD standard. Or at least that's what my memory tells me. Still, I find it mildly amusing.

"What is the point ?" I find myself asking on a daily basis, and then ignoring the answer. I don't have one really.

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5 Dec 2005 (Monday) 

Eek. Another version of 'Every time that you walk in the room' by Status Quo (as 'When you walk in the room'). Strange. Maybe that's the original. I no longer know!

It all takes time, a whole lot of patience If it's a crime, how come I feel no pain. [ Carrie, from The Final Countdown, by Europe ]

Blame Farren for that one; she wants a CD doing of some music she's lost over time, and asked for 'Cherokee', which obviously made me want to listen to other things on that album.

Il était une fois une femme amoureuse Peut-être un p'tit peu trop rêveuse Tant pis si j'en pleure, tu as tous les droits sur mon coeur [ Si Demain, from Simply Believe, by Bonnie Tyler ]

Which is so much prettier than the original...

Once upon a time I was falling in love But now I'm only falling apart There's nothing I can do - A total eclipse of the heart [ Total Eclipse Of The Heart, from Super Hits, by Bonnie Tyler ]

The french version, if I've got the correct translation (which seems right to me, although that version has a slightly different lyrics to the one on Simply Believe), has a similar sentiment, but it's so much prettier with expressing it. Maybe that's just because it sits better with the lyricist. Maybe it's the translator having a different view on it. Maybe it just fits the tune better. Whatever the reason, I think it may be difficult to listen to the original without trying to sing the English translation of the French. Yeah, that's a bit odd, isn't it ?

Damn you Aimee... "I know that lyric... what is it... oh... damn... 'Right Here Waiting'" I don't listen to that any more.

I've wasted an hour reading stuff from Aimee's diary now, which probably isn't the best use of my time, but it's definately an escapism in doing that. I don't know; seeing someone else who quotes odd things, who isn't known to me, and who seems to be a little introspective (hey, I don't know, I was only really sampling small sections), also gives a reflection of myself in a small way. I can see how those things appear to others from seeing other people write in a similar way. I dunno. It's interesting, though; she certainly said a few things that I could relate to!

For some reason I just had to slam stop on 'Loving you's a dirty job'. Hmm. No real reason springs to mind except it just provoked a really bad feeling. Oh well.

Whilst looking for a present for someone I came across this. It's just so gorgeous. Obviously I'm working on the principle that it links properly for other people, 'cos that's a silly long address. And obviously it's not something that I'd want myself for christmas.

I saw the I'm Oscar! website some time back, but I only noticed when I looked this time (just to see if, like the BBC, they'd updated it any more - they haven't) that his inmate number is '24601' which is Jean Valjean's prison number in Les Miserables.

And, clicking randomly on the site, I hit the 'email' button. The following disclaimer appears :

By submitting an email, you irrevocably agree that Fox Broadcasting Company, its licensors and affiliated companies, and their successors and licensees have the unlimited right, without charge and for no consideration, to modify, edit or otherwise use any portion of your email, including your first name if submitted, in all media now known or hereafter created in perpetuity and thoughout the universe. [ Fox email disclaimer ]

They sure have big plans, those guys at Fox... Just in case you happen to submit something that is, in 10,000 years, useful in solving the energy crisis on Mintaka 3, they'll have the rights to it. 'cos that's likely to happen whilst you're discussing a comedy.

Yeah, I know Mintaka isn't exactly likely to be all that hospitable to life and therefore it's unlikely that it'll actually be a place that there would be any concern over energy except in the 'oh bugger, we've just got here and there's no power source here, let's flip through 10,000 year old email to Our Sponsors - The Fox-NBC-Disney conglomerate network'. And as it's nearly 1000 lightyears away, those guys really had better get moving if they're going to get there in time, too.

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4 Dec 2005 (Sunday) 

I ache a lot today, which I blame on Grendel for sleeping on my bed. So today instead of writing code, I've been reading. Which has been more confusing and nasty.

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3 Dec 2005 (Saturday) 

I've downloaded a copy of The Banana Splits theme today. Why ? Because over the past week I've found myself singing a tiny section from it. Which bit ? "Tra-la-la la-la-la-la". In response to the "hey this code is living in its own little world and has no idea of how things should be". It's not my code. It's all external code, and its compliance (or the amazing lack of) to the specifications.

I'm hungry. I go downstairs to make lunch. Get pasta from fridge. Get saucepan. Fill saucepan with water. Open microwave. Place pan inside. Close door. Won't close. Why ? Handle's in the way. SHIT! What on earth am I doing ?

Yup, that was what really happened. I'd scare me if I cared all that much.

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2 Dec 2005 (Friday) 

Because of the oddities of the diary submission system (well, the fact that there is one now), this morning's dream ended up tacked on to the end of yesterday's entry. It's now here.

Another evil dream. I find a Christmas card from Caroline in the pile of cards that I've received this year, and so I go and meet her. And we're out talking - and it's sunny and warm and not at all Christmas like - and walking in the middle of a village green. And playing around one of the trees. Playing in the sense of laughing and joking and stuff. And someone comes up to us, with their friends and starts to threaten her. It's someone she used to know, I understand from what's said. After a minute or two she runs away, toward one of the shops and the guy pulls a gun. I'm running as fast as I can, right behind her and all I can think about is that if I get shot I probably won't even know, but she might get away. And then I do get shot - in the shoulder and it hurts like hell, but I keep running and waving my arms about, trying to obscure her leaving. Finally, we're away and they're not following. She's gone and I'm back home - although where home is this time is something that's not clear; it's sort of like Peterborough. I'm talking to family and stuff. I leave the room and go to get something from a bed room, and Caroline's there. She puts her hands around my neck and tries to strangle me, and all I do is just let her. And then everything went very black and I woke up.

I had thought, before I woke up from that, that maybe I'd drop her an email and just see how things were. But since she's just tried to kill me, I'm less inclined to do so . Yeah, I know it's me that's tried to kill me, but I'm trying not to read too much more into that than my usual dreams which hate me.

The alarm didn't wake me this morning. I didn't even hear it. But the remote does now appear to work, after being so broken yesterday. Last night Greebo was being a very affectionate little cat, running around the house after me (yes, Greebo running) and even jumping up on the bathroom sink to get my attention (never seen either of them do that before). After about twenty minutes cuddle he had calmed down enough to have something to eat. Very odd. And this morning Grendel's been standing at the bottom of the stairs crying and not eating his food (yes, Grendel not eating food) and he's had about half an hour now sitting with me, most of which he's spend half hanging, half lying up my chest, trying to nuzzle against my chin. I think they miss mum and dad.

Oh, and I didn't get around to watching Grosse Pointe Blank last night even, so it wasn't that that left me thinking about getting shot. I was just too tired to think.

I was trying to work out what my favourite christmas track was - mainly because it's December now and I might actually want to listen to some christmas music, and if I do I know I'll be sick of it after just one track, so it might as well be a track I like. And I could think of two I'm actually very partial to - I believe in Father Christmas, by Greg Lake and A spaceman came travelling, by Chris de Burgh.

As I was awoken this morning by strangulation, I think I'm going to try to sleep a little earlier tonight.

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1 Dec 2005 (Thursday) 

I'm lying in bed this morning and the alarm went off. I reached for the remote to turn it down a little, but nothing happened. And then I suddenly know which line in the remote control start up code was wrong. It was very strange to be half asleep and to know how to fix something you did whilst wide awake.

All you people in TV land I will wake up your empty shells Peak-time viewing blown in a flash As I burn into your memory cells... [ Family Snapshot, from Shaking The Tree, by Peter Gabriel ]

Interesting. I had always assumed that 'Family Snapshot' was about Oswald/Kennedy, but a little research indicates that it's more about Arthur Bremmer who shot a Alabama govenor - which doesn't entirely fit with the lyrics but I guess that's just artistic license.

... which led me to think about Jackie's Strength, by Tori Amos and whether that was actually about Jackie Kennedy. It seems so, but in a slightly different way. It's really quite 'fun' that you find some things are not about the things they're really about. Actually Andrew said something similar a couple of weeks back.

And if you think that I've been losing my way That's because I'm slightly blinded And if you think that I don't make too much sense That's because I'm broken minded [ Inside, from The Mind's Eye, by Stiltskin ]

I can no longer listen to 'The Final Countdown' without wanting to dance around with a sword. I blame 'Arrested Development'.

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins) I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (Deep in) I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison [ Poison, from Trash, by Alice Cooper ]

I just blame Angela for Poison, actually. It's all her fault.

I got my last.fm pony, too. That's the 'codename' for their reorganised (and vastly better) 'recommended' section. Originally, you see, they promised a pony to all the people that subscribed (subject to availability). I think it's quite a cute thing really.

Might just settle and watch Grosse Pointe Blank tonight. I can't really concentrate enough to write anything tonight. That's what you get for confusing your FP instruction formats.

Oh, and it's a new month so all being well we everything up to date today with the new monthness.

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