11 Jan 2004 (Sunday) 

So, I'm lying in the bath and I've given up trying to reform the electoral system to ensure that special interest lobbies are given less force than desires of the people, and - for reasons that are not apparent - began to think back about how stupid I felt back at school. Reasons aren't apparent because they involve a large amount of private stuff that is probably only related in my head, and which flashed by very quickly. So anyhow...

I'm lying in the bath thinking how stupid I felt when I was around Caroline. No. Not stupid. Ignorant, I think is the word I want. There were so many times, I recall, that there was something that I didn't know much about but wanted to and just pushed aside. Why ? Because, to use Mr McKay's words, I was arrogant. I still am, I think. But I think I try to listen to people now and ask when I don't know. At the time, though, I was very dismissive of the things that I didn't know anything about rather than doing what I actually wanted to do, which was find out whatever it was that I didn't know about. Oh well. I can't change who I was, and that stubborness in the face of my own want meant that I missed out on a lot of things. Actually, that's not strictly true; it wasn't just Caroline that made me act that way - other people brought out that side quite plainly. I guess it's just that with Caroline I now regret it so much more.

On the other hand, having listened to the radio all the way up to see Claire and Justin this weekend, I'm pretty sure that I don't want to hear any more 'News' for the next few months.

Return to top | Comment on the diary

15 Jan 2004 (Thursday) 

I found out today (through drobe), that Iain Truskett died at the very end of last year. Iain, referred to as 'Iain' in this diary and as Koschei through EH, took over from me maintaining the OS StrongHelp manuals long ago (before Christian took over). We chatted and passed time on EH on occasion, and it's something of a shock to hear that he had died. He was only Julian's age.

Martyn Fox died last year as well (also reported through drobe), but I had known about that for a while, so it was less of a surprise to see reported. Martyn

Return to top | Comment on the diary

16 Jan 2004 (Friday) 

<Back room of the rovers> Betty: (closes newspaper) Well, I'm not in the obituaries so I'd better get to work. [ Better get to work; Coronation Street ]

Return to top | Comment on the diary